Five Finger Death Punch have found a new bassist, and I’m betting you’re all excited to find out who they’ve picked? Oh no, wait, I forgot that no one cares.
So any way, the new bassist is Chris Kael (who?) and he looks like Varg Vikernes.
Is he under 6ft in height, under 35 years old and a non smoker? I sure hope so, because that’s the criteria the band put forward for auditions, even if the band did later claim it was fake.
If you care (which you shouldn’t if you have any care for your ears), more information can be found at Blabbermouth.
