Did you feel like I felt upon hearing ‘The View’ from Metallica & Lou Reed love-child album? Did you feel the cringe-worthy sadness when you realized that this piece of crap was the single of the new Metallica album? And did you laugh at the countless “I am the table” memes that have smothered the internet ever since its release?
Well, if you hated that, then you will most likely hate the rest of this post. Lou Reed himself has posted a few of the lyrics, that we will be laughing at treated to on the new album. Be warned, though: These lyrics are awful, simply awful. When I heard ‘The View,’ I honestly tried to look at its good points (considering it is a Metallica release, after all), but I simply could not defend that crap!
Anyway, if you want to read some of the new lyrics for the song “Pumping Blood”, including such classic lines as “Waggle my ass like a dark prostitute,” “Oh, ah, ah, ah Jack I beseech you,” and “Like a colored mans dick,” make if the jump. If not, continue watching that porn in the second tab. I got you.
If I pump out blood in the sunshine
Oil on the wheel
That is blasted and busted awayA nail or a little piece of glass
A little piece of glass
A little piece of glass
Swarming like bees over the air
Off the pump off the thing
The blood that I’m pumping awayLike bees over the air
Off the pump
Off the thing
The blood that I’m pumping awayOff the pump
Off the thing
The blood that I’m pumping awayIf I pump blood in the sunshine
And you wear a leather box with azaleas
And I pump more blood
And it seeps through my skin
Will you adore the river
The stream, the trickle
The tributary of my heartAs I pump more blood
And it seeps through my skinWill you adore the river
The stream, the trickle
The tributary of my heartIf I’m pumping blood
Like a common state worker
If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute
Would you think less of meAnd my coagulating heart
Waggle my ass like a dark prostitute
Coagulating heart
Pumping bloodWould you top me off
Would you top me off as I deepen a curtsy
While you yell out, “mercy”
We grow apart
Would you rip and cut meUse a knife on me
Be shocked at the boldness
The coldness of this little heart
Tied up in leather
Would you take the measure
Of the blood that I pump
In the manic confusion of loveSupreme violation
Supreme violation
“Oh, ah, ah, ah Jack I beseech you”“Oh Jack I beseech you”
Supreme violationBlood in the foyer
The bathroom
The tea room
The kitchen, with her knives splayedI will swallow your sharpest cutter
Like a colored man’s dickBlood spurting from me
“Oh Jack, Jack I beseech…”
“Jack, I beseech you, I beseech…”
In the end it was an ordinary heart“Oh Jack I beseech you”
As I scream out my pain
In the end it was an ordinary heartIn the end, in the end, in the end
It was an ordinary heart“Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack I beseech you”
Supreme violation . . . Oh“Jack, Jack, Jack I beseech you”
I call out your nameBlood in the foyer, the bathroom,
The tea room, the kitchen
And knives splayed
I swallow your sharpest cutter
Like a colored man’s dick
Blood spurting from me
Blood spurting from me“Oh Jack”
“Oh Jack, I beseech ya”
In the end it was an ordinary heartIn the end it was an ordinary heart
Pumping blood
I am the table.
