Christmas is fun. You get to celebrate Jesus and get wasted out of your mind. That’s enough for Mel Gibson and it should be enough for you.
But we here at Dose of Metal want to spice up your Christmas so we’ll give you 10 amazing suggestions to make your transition into a coma smoother, because drinking responsibly is for pussies. Make the jump and learn how you can be an alcoholic with style!
#10 – The ‘Soad Toad’ game
Idiotic name but I’m drinking as I’m writing this so bear with me. Listen to Serj’s solo album… Do a shot each time he makes a goat sound.
Estimated drinks: 30
#9 – The ‘Brad Delson’ game
Brad Delson is a guitar genius. Period. Take Linkin Park’s latest amazing album and drink each time you hear an interlude.
Estimated drinks: 50
#8 – The ‘Die Die Die My Darling’ game
Listen to Metallica’s discography and shoot vodka up each time you hear the word ‘death’ or ‘die.’ You can easily cheat by watching this video.
Estimated drinks: 80
#7 – The ‘Whiskey Democracy’ game
This one involves whiskey. So grab your scotch of choice and go to a Guns N’ Roses concert. Do a shot every minute the band is late.
Estimated drinks: 120
#6 – The ‘Anselmo 2k’ game
Watch any footage of Pantera from the early 2000s. Get your spirit of choice and drink one shot for every extra pound of fat Philip has on his body.
Estimated drinks: 160
#5 – The ‘Peace sells, but who’s crying?’ game
Get some tequila. Now, watch a Megadeth live DVD and focus on Dave’s face. Drink each time Dave looks like he’s about to cry. Do two shots if he’s actually crying.
Estimated drinks: 200
#4 – The ‘Anselmo 2k10’ game
The sequel to the popular ‘Anselmo 2k’ game mentioned earlier, this one focuses on Anselmo’s musical projects from his early career up to 2010. One shot per band.
Estimated drinks: 280
#3 – The ‘AC/CC’ game
Take AC/DC’s discography and your booze. Listen to it in chronological order and drink each time you hear a song which is a carbon copy of a previous one. Hence the “CC.”
Estimated drinks: 500+
#2 – The ‘Dose of Metal’ game
Read Dose of Metal. Drink one shot for each funny line you read. Pretty easy, huh?
Estimated drinks: 10,000+
#1 – The ‘Don’t be an effeminate pussy’ game
Glad you made it all the way to the top. This is the only true ‘game’ a metalhead plays, which is… He drinks without any games. Drinking should be taken seriously and it shouldn’t be dumbed down to silly games. So do yourself a favor. BE METAL, don’t count your shots and just drink until you can’t remember your name. Then drink some more.
Disclaimer: This is a humor site and this article is a joke. Dose of Metal can’t be held responsible for any excessive drinking caused by this post or for any wives or girlfriends who choose to cheat on their partners with us because they consider us handsome. Please take this into consideration before being a whiny bitch. Thank you.
