So last week I ran you through the 10 most badass Metal tatts around, but this week it’s time to look at the most ridiculous, stupid and downright hilarious tattoos that can be found upon the skin of Metal artists.
Will any be as bad as the idiot above with the Hello Kitty tattoo on his forehead? Find out after the jump.
Jacoby Shaddix
Those of you who are in your twenties will probably remember Papa Roach as that Rap-Rock band that gained some popularity in the Nu-Metal era. In case you just lost interest in them and never realized what happened to them after the death of their scene, they discovered eye-liner and adopted the new Emo scene, finding new success. Jacoby celebrated by dressing up as a woman and getting some awful tattoos.
Bjorn Gellotte
Bjorn, guitarist for In Flames, has some fantastic tattoos. I sometimes wonder to myself “why didn’t I think of having tiger stripes permanently carved into my arms? ” and then I realize, it’s because I’m not stupid. He looks like he’s had a bottle of ink poured over him. So in case it hasn’t yet become obvious, when I said he had fantastic tattoos, I was being sarcastic.
Chester Bennington
I’ll be honest, I don’t really know what tattoos Chester has, I just use every opportunity possible to rip it out of Linkin Park. However, the tattoos Chester has that I am aware of, are those ridiculous flames he has on his arms. It seems like only yesterday when I was 14 and I would be “doodling” equally shit ideas for tattoos on my arms (ok, so it WAS only yesterday, but that’s besides the point). But the thing is, I was only 14 and I wasn’t stupid enough to get them done, so what’s Chester’s excuse?
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy may be a Metal legend, but he still whores himself out more than Britney Spears on a Friday night, and definitely isn’t free of ridicule. Well, ok, he IS a Metal legend, but that doesn’t excuse his ridiculous (although amusing) smiley face tattoos on his knees. Although it’s hard to imagine now, there was once a time when Ozzy could actually move enough to cause criminal damage. Whilst inside the slammer, Ozzy did the tattoos himself to cheer himself up.
James Hetfield
Frontman of the Jonas Brothers Metallica, really should have some better tattoos. he’s the frontman of one of the greatest Metal bands of all time, and yet he looks like the poster boy for a Redneck magazine. Or Prison Break perhaps. The M from Metallica and spider web tattoos are horrendous.
Nick Oliveri
What is the first rule of tattoos? Come on, this is one everyone knows. Don’t ever get a tattoo of your love interest’s name, as it will sound the death of your relationship. Never. So why haven’t musicians realized this should probably extend to bands too? Nick Oliveri probably should have realized this before he got his lovely Queens of the Stone Age tattoo inked onto his chest… After a nasty breakup with the band (well he was fired), and some bitching from both sides (Homme and Oliveri), it is said that the two are back on speaking terms though. N’awww, isn’t that nice? That doesn’t make that tattoo any less stupid or ironic though Nick.
Evan Seinfeld
What’s the second rule of getting a tattoo? Check your fckuing splleing duh. Seinfeld, not the legendary comedian, butbass player/vocalist of Biohazard and random porn star, feels he needs to find additional ways to stand out. One of them is to be a walking piece of art. Nothing wrong with that in Metal right? Sure, of course not. Just make sure your tattoos don’t look ridiculous and check your spelling first… According to Metal Hammer, in celebration of the release of the band’s third album, State of the World Address, Seinfeld got a tattoo done, but the artist managed to misspell the word ‘address.’ Woops…
Fred Durst
Ok, so Freddy D has always been an easy target, so I feel pretty lazy including him in this list, but how can I not? Not being content with his portrait of Kurt Cobain inked on his chest, he also went and got Elvis Presley done too. Only they’re placed right next to each other, looking like they’re about to engage in a bit of tongue-wrestling. Not the best look. Then there’s the horrible Einstein tattoo he had done recently. Fred may have once been a tattoo artist himself (allegedly), but that obviously hasn’t brought him any taste. People dislike the Cobain tattoo so much, that I’ve seen it described as like Hitler getting a tattoo of Jesus. Ouch…
Jonathan Davis
JD’s image isn’t the best. A “Metal artist” (ok, wannabe Metal artist) whoring out the Adidas is like rap music, it just shouldn’t happen. Rap isn’t music, and Adidas isn’t Metal. But Jon didn’t stop there. He went and got a ridiculous HIV tattoo done across his arm. Apparently it’s to illustrate how isolated he is or something stupid. Personally I just think it shows how much of a dummy he is.
Brian ‘Head’ Welch
Another Korn entrée, (can you blame me?) Head has some terrible tattoos. Not content with now looking like the drunken homeless guy that lives near me, who keeps stumbling into traffic and yet somehow never dying, Head also thinks having Jesus tattooed on his hand is a good idea (he’s a Christian now duh). Why would he do such a thing? I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s taking the Lord’s name in vain or some crap. So what is the purpose of the tatt? Why to discourage himself from masturbating of course. I sometimes wonder why I don’t do something similar myself, and then I realize that not only do I not believe in God, but I also love a good wank. Who doesn’t? Maybe if I get the words METAL tattooed on my hand though, it’ll remind me never to listen to Korn or any other God-awful Nu-Metal band.
