Author Archives: Alex

Some boring headlines

Time for some headlines, folks, and trust me, they’ll bore you to death.

Queensrÿche (pictured above… i think… it’s not the 80s, is it?) are talking about their new album and, you guessed it, it’s “going in another direction.” If I had a blowjob for every time I heard that…

Lars Ulrich is an actor now. A photo of him on the set pictured and I can only describe it with three letters: LOL

Nevermore are embarking on a clinic tour around Serbia, Italy and Greece. I wish Paramore would do the same. I heard Serbian laws for rape are pretty forgiving.

Nick Oliveri is not working with Homme yet. He squashed those rumors in a recent interview. Too bad the one spreading them was himself.

The Metallicops are coming

Metallica have been earning gazillions off the name Metallica for quite some time. So another company decided they also want a piece of the action. So they falsely claimed they bought ‘several hours of unique Metallica 3D & 2D footage for distribution.’ Their scam failed when nobody was interested in that footage.

Well, ya dun goofed, guys. The Metallicops are coming for you. Consequences will never be the same.

Read more here.

Rob Zombie voodoo doll

Rob Zombie must know me all too well, because for just $30, I can finally get a Rob Zombie voodoo doll. So can you.

You know what I’m gonna do with mine? Stick a pin through its urethra and make it stop making bad movies. Hope you use yours wisely, too.

Young kids and instruments

I love the guitar, kid. I love the choice of solo, too, one of the few times Kirk‘s wah actually needed to be used.

Cover is bad though. Wait for your fingers to grow longer, you’re too small to cover the frets. Overall pretty sloppy.

Drink milk, stay in school and keeps practicing. Preferably with a metronome (hint hint).

My rating:

Apparently we’re epic failures

Some asshole sent a screenshot of our site to one of those fail sites. Why? Cause apparently we have a skull in the logo and Guido used a picture of people getting hanged and the banner on top was for kids.

Yeah assholes, like we control what banners Google shows… Sure, we can deny them but it’s not like we see all of them, since they’re shown depending on your location.

Anyways, here it is. Vote for it, while you’re at it. We’re like The Darkness. If we’re being laughed at, might as well embrace and milk it.