Author Archives: Alex

Seems like I’m not the only one with a crush on Cristina Scabbia

Let’s face it, metal doesn’t have a lot of hot chicks. In this genre, any chick that even remotely resembles a fuckable one is considered breathtaking.

So someone like Cristina Scabbia is a pretty rare thing. I have a semi as I’m writing this.

But check out my man David Ellefson trying the ol’ ‘let’s do a video update together’ line on her. You go, dude!

Of course, Dave talks to her about her favorite moment on stage and all of that, but we all know this is going through his mind: (o)(o)

I have more jokes in me, but my respect for the bro code forces me to end it right here.

Ghost are keeping things fresh. Too bad it’s not 1970.

Ghost are trying to keep things sounding contemporary. But their idea is to sound like they’re in the 70s, so they’re a bit behind with the times.

“A lot of stoner and doom bands, they wanna sound like a lo-fi band, so they basically want to sound unproduced, whereas the idea of Ghost is to sound like a very, very expensive record back from the ’70s — like a really produced, top-notch record from that time. I guess that makes us a bit different from a lot of the bands that try to sound like a ’70s band.”

Read full article here.

Aww, so ‘The Artist’ won a lot of Oscars by emulating old cinema, and bands are trying to pull it off as well, huh? That’s cute.

I want to write for a site that has a 90s vibe to it. You know, with Geocities hosting, a lot of stolen gif animations, a few videos from Real Player and news about this awesome up-and-coming metal genre that has rap influences. Then I’m gonna go watch the Tom Green show.

Sweet!

Malevolent Creation diss the U.S. of A, yo

According to an interview with some Serbian site (they have internet in Serbia? I didn’t even know that was a country), Malevolent Creation drummer Gus Rios said the U.S. sucks, and that touring Europe is much better.

BRING THE TORCHES!!!

“We have officially stopped touring the U.S. We hate it. We will only tour Europe, South America — basically, anywhere but the U.S. U.S. sucks. Not the country, but the conditions of touring in the U.S. are nowhere near as good as the conditions in Europe. Less fans, less support, clubs are not great.”

I’m sure Americans everywhere would feel insulted, if only they knew who the hell Malevolent Creation were.

But seriously, Americans are lazy when it comes to concerts, and that makes it hard for bands who aren’t Metallica to do successful touring over there. The good thing is I really don’t care either way…

Robb Flynn makes fun of Lulu by stealing a joke from a meme.

Robb Flynn might be reading Dose of Metal, because he’s been asked in a recent interview about Metallica‘s Lulu, and he stole this joke from our post. Okay, so we didn’t really make that clip therefore we shouldn’t take credit for it. But we will, anyway.

“I think it’s horrible. I don’t get it. The Metallica fan in me wants to think that there’s this ulterior motive that none of us can see, and it’s helping them branch out into something different. But I don’t even get what’s going on. It sounds like Grandpa Simpson rapping over fast thrash beats or something. We’re huge fans of Metallica and they’ll always be my favorite band, but that record was bizarre. It was fascinatingly bad.”

Read full article here.

Okay, so I agree with the guy. Lulu does sound horrible and that Simpson meme was way more accurate than it should have been. But Robb needs to learn to be funny with his own jokes. The internet is watching you, Robb. Don’t make us call Fred Durst.

John 5 explains his ‘controversial’ album title

I hate controversy… Why? Because most of it is planned controversy. When you include the word ‘GOD’ within your album title, you’re doing it for attention, because there is simply no other reason to do so, as there are so many words in so many languages to be used which people would not think twice about. But no, let’s just use God’s name to annoy/revolt some Christians. It sells.

So let’s hear why John 5 named his album ‘God Told Me To’:

“The title means more than what it sounds like. I wanted to do this so badly, to be a successful musician. Not even like a rock star. My dreams didn’t go into that area. I want to make money playing guitar. I like prayed inside of my head as a little kid. I didn’t grow up in a religious home, but we went to Midnight Mass. That was the only time I’d go to church, but when I did, I prayed that I wanted to be a successful musician. I got my wish.“

Read full interview here.

And this is why I hate religious people. They talk the talk but they rarely walk the walk. And yes, I realize it’s a lame saying but so is Christianity. Using God as a tool to dump all your plans and frustrations on, and to shamelessly try to exploit his powers just for your own career goals pretty much goes against the concept of Christianity. Doesn’t it?

And now I don’t feel too bad about him getting kicked by Marilyn Manson.

P.S. = Midnight Mass sounds like a band John 5 would be part of. Just sayin’…