Author Archives: Alex

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, metalheads! I got nothing to give and no one to thank so I don’t know if this holiday does me any good, but any time I have an excuse to overeat sounds awesome to me so I’m up for anything, as long as beer and sex is involved.

We hope you like horror movies

Lemmy has a documentary about him, and you’ll never guess the name. It’s called ‘Lemmy.’ Anyways, we’ve posted about it before, but now we know it will be in theaters in mid-January and on DVD and Blu-Ray on the 15th of February. Now, as soon as I read “Lemmy” and “Blu-Ray” I thought… MOLES IN HD. HOLY SHIT.

If you like seeing topless zombies, à la Dawn of the Dead, then expect to see two deformed zombie tits hanging around next to a mustache in glorious full HD. I think I’m buying the DVD on this one.

Anyways, you can check out some reviews of the film: Variety | Inside Pulse | Hollywood Reporter. A teaser after the jump.

New Crowbar song

We care for you guys, hence why we’re posting this photo for you to see. We know you plan on binge-eating this Christmas so there you have it, some topless action from a few guys who should definitely keep their shirt on. If you still feel like eating after that, it means you’re Rob Halford.

Kidding, kidding… Anyway, new Crowbar, bitches. It’s called “Cemetary Angels” and you can stream it here.

The Clown is branching out

Shawn “Clown” Crahan is branching out. Which shouldn’t come as a surprise since every other member of Slipknot has a side project, plus the Clown does NOTHING in that band anyway, so he prolly needs something to do besides eating.

Anyways, he has a new band called The Black Dots of Death, and if you think the name is bad, wait till you hear the music. It’s as if someone took a NIN song and made it way worse. Is that even possible? Yes it is. It makes Trent Reznor look like Mozart.

“This is my new project, this is my new pain. Enjoy.” said the Clown about it.
“Wrong, Mr. Crahan, it’s your project but OUR pain. Ear pain, to be specific.” said Dose of Metal.

Make the jump to see/hear what I’m talking about.

Metallica can't throw good parties

The band once known as ‘Alcoholica’ is apparently pretty mellowed out and artsy fartsy nowadays, cause their “end of the tour” party in Melbourne was ‘surprisingly lame’ according to insiders. Or ‘surprisingly tame,’ I need my glasses.

“Bags were being packed at their hotel before the band went on stage, with the band wasting no time heading from the concert to the airport and clambering aboard a private jet to whisk them off to the US. Instead of a blow-out on Sunday night, the band threw a party for their crew and tour members at the Australian Centre for Contemporary Art in South Melbourne on Friday night. The party started at 7.30pm and the last few people trickled out at 3.30am on Saturday.“

Read full article here.

Usually I’d write something offensive, like ‘maybe they’re scared of kangaroos…’ But tonight, I’m keeping it P.C. So what did they expect? To trash the hotels, drink ’till they’re in a coma and spend another 2 weeks in Australia being hung over? They’re old now. Alcoholica out. Familiolica in.

They’re with their kids and wives there, that means no drugs, no groupies, no anything. Why would they enjoy touring? Hell, sounds awful just thinking about it.