Author Archives: Alex
Stairway to Number 1
I don’t know what to make of Jimmy Page. He looks like he’s gonna lecture me on how human beings are a type 0 civilization and that we need a few million years to evolve into type 1. Or that the “river of time” is bent like a pretzel thus allowing time travel.
Either way, he topped Gibson’s Top 50 Guitar Solos of All time for his solo in Stairway to Heaven. I can’t really comment much, this is a pretty good list. While all of us might want some songs higher or lower on that list, overall, it’s a pretty good one. Read it after the jump.
When asked if he’s content with being #22 on that list, Kirk Hammett answered “Dunlop’s Crybaby Wah list had me at #1, this list is bullshit.”
Trivium fan sounds just like them
People usually say shows like American Idol don’t promote talent. But this video pretty much shows otherwise.
On some Portuguese clone show or some shit, a dude came in and sang Trivium’s Ember To Inferno. He sounds just like them, to the point of me having to check if it’s not dubbed from the actual CD. Watch after the jump…
Mudvayne make movies
Well, not really, but three of their videos made it into an European film festival. This is about as exciting as finding out the turtle’s penis is in its tail.
“The three consecutive experimental music videos for Mudvayne’s “Scream With Me,” “Heard It All Before” and “Beautiful and Strange” have been accepted to Europe’s largest film festival: Raindance. These non-performance videos tell the story of Satan’s grisly attempts in conceiving his first human child on Earth. The trilogy is to be screened at the 18th annual Raindance film festival, as it was originally intended to be seen: in true eye-popping HD.“
Okay, I don’t know about you, but that text is just plain stupid. First of all, Raindance is not the largest film festival in Europe. Ever heard of the Cannes Film Festival? Yeah. It’s where everyone goes. Who the hell ever heard of “Raindance”? No wonder they got in. They’ll probably even accept my YouTube video of my cat shitting in my soup.
Secondly, “Satan’s grisly attempts in conceiving his first human child on Earth?” — Is this a story about Sharon Osbourne? She already has a few kids…
And last but not least. “True eye-popping HD?” Hahahaha… Jesus Christ, the only eye popping you’ll see will be from the audience, gouging their eyes out to stop all the visual atrocity. Seriously awful news. It’s not even news, I apologize. More of my laughs, after the jump.
New Megadeth song!
Are you excited???? I’m not… But hey, it’s from the latest Guitar Hero game called ‘Guitar Hero: Not Only Can You Not Play Real Guitar, But You Also Suck At This Game, Cuntmuscle’
“The new Megadeth song “Sudden Death,” serves as the finger-busting finale to the “Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock“
In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Megadeth mainman Dave Mustaine stated about the song, “I’m sure some fans will think it’s the greatest thing we’ve ever done. But other people will say it sucks. That’s just the way of the world.“
Yeah, let me correct you there, Dave. Some fans will say “Eh, it’s okay!” and the others will make a Metallica joke. Now THAT is the way of the world. Hear the song after the jump.
Bon Jovi, you're to blame
You give the Hall of Fame… A bad name… *insert talk box solo here*
“Alice Cooper and Bon Jovi are among 15 artists nominated for induction into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in 2011. Other acts who were nominated are Beastie Boys, Neil Diamond and LL Cool J”
And like that, the honor of being inducted in the “Hall of Fame” just went down the toilet. LL Cool J? Seriously? Is he gonna lick his lips and start saying “Baby… Baby… Baby” for his induction speech? What the hell… And then the Beastie Boys are gonna come on with some matching work uniforms and start doing robot dances? Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. Who’s gonna induct them? Dr. Dre, yo?
I can’t believe I’m saying this but my vote is for Bon Jovi. Fuck, at least they can play instruments. Alice Cooper’s response to the nomination, after the jump.
