Author Archives: Alex

Iron Maiden want more money

And guess who they want it from… YOU.

Iron Maiden, legendary band, are continuing their tour in 2011, as well, because they’re legends. And legends need private jets and all the costs associated with that. So that’s where you guys come in and keep buying tickets. Fair deal? Yes it is.

Also, if you ever fancied to ‘rock out with your cock out,’ literally, please notice they are playing the Roskilde Festival in Denmark, a festival known for nudist activities and unisex showers where you can rape your favorite chick.

Dates after the jump.

Eddie Vedder puts a ring on it

Eeeeeeeeeeeoh, Eddie Vedder just married his long time girlfriend-o… Ohhh yeaaaah…
Eeeeeeeeoooooh, his girlfriend is 10 years younger than him, uhhh yeaaah…
Eeeeeaaaah, Sean Penn also attended the wedding, but didn’t kick anyone… Uhh nooo…

British Has-beens: The Movie

“Wreckage Of My Past,” the documentary (and unintentional mockumentary)  about the life and career of British has-been Ozzy Osbourne, will feature another British has-been, Sir Paul “I got two legs, bitch!” McCartney. It’s a 70s reunion!

The film, produced by Jack Osbourne (of KFC, McDonald’s and Wendy’s fame), premieres God knows when cause who cares, right? Jack said:

“I’m trying to paint a realistic picture of who my father is.”

How hard can that be? Unless you make Ozzy paint the picture, then yeah, it’s a real challenge with all the shakiness and all.

MTV knows good music

The least anticipated music award ceremony of the year, the MTV European Music Awards (or MTV FAG for short) is getting closer and closer. And the nominations are in! Oh golly, my nipples are hard.

Fighting for the Best Rock award are Linkin Park, 30 Seconds To Mars, Kings Of Leon, Muse and Ozzy Osbourne. Wowza!

The early favorites seem to be Linkin Park, of course, because their latest techno album sold quite well. In all fairness to Ozzy though, he would win ‘Best Taxidermy’ in a heartbeat. Maybe next year.

Jaymz always knew he was amazing

This is what James Hetfield, of Metallica, was asked in a recent interview.

“If someone told you 30 years ago that in 30 years time, you would be playing a sold-out concert in Sydney, Australia, what would your reaction be?“

Usually, when asked this bullshit cliché question, the interviewee is supposed to go on a modesty trip and be all “OMG I DO NOT KNOW! I NEVER EXPECTED THIS!” blah blah blah. Not our man Papa Het, though. He’s keeping it real. His answer?

“I would have said, ‘You bet. You bet I am.’ That was it. I was gonna do it.“

So if you were wondering if success and fame changed Metallica, nope, they were always like this.