Author Archives: Alex

Chris Cornell is fulfilled

Chris Cornell seems to be very happy with the current Soundgarden reunion, calling it ‘hugely fulfilling.’

You know what’s not fulfilling? The fucking Big Mac. It looks good in the advert, but once you get it it’s all slimy and shit, you eat it and 10 minutes later you’re hungry again. So you get another one, and another one, until you get kicked out of planes for being too fat. Then you keep confort-eating because you are morbidly obsese, so fuck it, right? Might as well keep getting fatter.

So you go on and on and on until everyone around you laughs at you, then you commit suicide. All because McDonald’s fucking lied in their advert. Cunts.

Metallica in India, soon on TV

We told you before that Metallica‘s India gig will be broadcast by MTV. Well, now we’re gonna tell you again:

“MTV lets you relive the performance of the year by the Gods of rock, Metallica. This maiden trip by the band has to be the highlight of musical notes this year. The high voltage music and performance of some of their all time hits for the Indian fans is a milestone to cherish.”

Read full article here.

Pirate Bay, please don’t let us down!

The setlist of the aforementioned show, after the jump.

What happened at Dimebash 2011

Artisan News posted a video about what happened at this year’s Dimebash… They can tell the story way better than I can, plus, they filmed the whole thing. So why don’t I just stop typing and let you watch the video?

Or maybe I should just keep talking… Well, I went home the other day and found my water running… I panicked for a second, then I realized the stench of my awesome shit was gone, so I figured the water must have magically erased it somehow.

So I keep the water running all the time now, especially after I take an awesome burrito-driven shit in the morning… I recommend this thing, it’s way better than lighting a match…

For more information on my toilet habits, keep watching this space.

Mike Portnoy trolls the interwebz

A troll guy posted on some Dream Theater forums about a certain DT song (from their latest album) which is strikingly similar to a song from Christian band Red. Sorry, I stopped paying attention the second I heard the word ‘Chrsitian.’

You can judge for yourself here:

Red – Feed The Machine

Dream Theater – Build Me, Break Me Down

Geez, I wonder if Mike Portnoy had anything to say on the matter…

“Check out the first song on JP ‘s fav album of the year…. WOW, the arrangement and orchestration sounds awfully familiar!! Surely it must be an intentional “nugget” for the fans… It couldn’t possibly be blatant formula plagiarism now could it…??

I just have to laugh…. : )“

Read full post here.

Portnoy has class, yo. Very subtle forum diss. Major troll points for this one, Mikey.

Shocking: Bret Michaels is on another reality show

I don’t know about you guys, but I have a feeling Bret Michaels likes to be on TV, especially on reality shows. A stab in the dark, I know, but just this gut feeling I have…

“Poison singer Bret Michaels will appear on the Friday, January 6 episode of the heart-tugging original feel-good series ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’. In the episode, entitled ‘Gibbs Family,’ ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’ travels to Fayette County, Iowa to surprise the Gibbs family.“

Read full article here.

The episode will air Friday, January 6th, on ABC. It will be between 8 pm and 10 pm ET, in case you want to know the exact time you need to avoid ABC.