Author Archives: Alex

Evile are going on tour (only where it rains)

Are you a bit weird looking, have oral hygiene problems, have bad weather and use the word ‘mate’ a lot? Then you’re probably living in the UK, so this news is for you.

Evile will tour the shit out of the UK, starting in late September all the way to late October. They’ll also play two album release shows in London and Birmingham.

They’re doing all of this to promote their new album, Five Serpent’s Teeth, an album reviewed by our own Guido Metalhead666 (that’s actually his surname, he’s THAT metal!).

All the tour dates are after the jump. Oh, and if you got offended at that joke towards Brits, don’t worry, our own Mark is a Brit.  I actually called him up and asked if I can do the joke. He didn’t pick up the phone, so I’m pretty sure that means he gave me his blessing. I don’t really care what he thinks, anyway.

Go shorty, is yo’ birthday

James is old enough to be my dad. Literally. He’s just a few years younger than my dad. I don’t know if that means he’s way too old, or that I’m way too young. All I know is, how the fuck does one jerk off in his youth without the interwebz? That must have sucked for him. Probably why most of Metallica‘s riffs are down-picked.

Anyway, it’s his birthday today, and if you’re wondering how I know this, it’s because my Facebook feed was filled with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES HETFIELD” posts. Yeah, I’ve friended a lot of Metallica fans on Facebook.

So Jaymz just turned 48, two more years and he’ll be half a century old. On behalf of everyone at Dose of Metal, I want to wish this old bastard guy a happy birthday.

Incidentally, Metallica also has a big birthday coming up — their 30th. Stay tuned on Dose of Metal, where we’ll be celebrating 30 years of Metallica by doing nothing at all, really, because why would we?

Have a good one, Jaymz.

Nikki Sixx jumps on fan

If you’re in a band, especially in a band that hasn’t been relevant since rotary phones were ‘new technology,’ any means of your live show being distributed to people should be flattering to you. Right? Well, not if your name is Nikki Sixx.

Apparently Nikki spotted some fan filming the Mötley Crüe show with what he thought was a ‘professional camera,’ and he decided jumping on him was a great way to make him stop. So that’s what he did, as you can see from the video.

And thank god for him. Can you imagine that kid uploading the concert to YouTube and giving the band free publicity and exposure? Sheesh, that’s a crime that should be punished by death.

Good on ya, Mr. Sixx. Jump on your own fans and stop any kind of promotion, it’s not like your band needs it or anything.

Oh, if you’re wondering,  this happened at their July 30 show in Frederick, Maryland.

Bruce Dickinson likes to fly

We all know Iron Maiden flies in a big ass plane which looks pretty badass. We also know Bruce flies that thing, because he loves it. But what we don’t know is that I have a huge penis, and I’m pretty much handsome, smart and successful.

I don’t have a NSFW video to prove that to you, but I have a very-SFW video about Bruce. Not that he’s more interesting than I am, or anything, but it’s all I have for you today.

Disturbed hiatus blamed on disturbed music industry

Music industry, on behalf of everyone at Dose Of Metal, we thank you for this. We feel like winners of the “Make A Wish Foundation,” only we’re not dying of cancer. And if you thought that joke was in poor taste, it’s actually quite tame when you compare it to this:

Three terminally ill cancer patients are talking to each other. Someone asks: “Guys, what would you like your friends and relatives to say about you at your funeral?” — The first guy says “That I was a great, fun-loving guy who loved everyone.” The second guy says “That I was a wonderful husband, wonderful father and great at my job.”  The third guy says “I’d like to hear them say ‘Holy shit, he’s moving!!!'”.

So yeah, Disturbed frontman David “Uhhh-ah-ah-ah-ah” Draiman talked about his band’s hiatus, and apparently it’s the music industry’s fault. So all these years of illegal downloads finally paid off, huh?

“Many of those reasons are have to do with the state of the music industry in general and, you know, the demise of hard rock and heavy metal right now, and I think it’s just a good time for Disturbed, after 10 to 12 years straight of touring, to go away for a little while and kind of wait for the phoenix to rise from the ashes here. […] It’s frightening times right now, and it’s just a good time for us to go away.“

Read full article here.

To be honest, I don’t like Disturbed so I don’t care, but it’s really sad to see what’s popular these days and how awful everything else is doing.