Author Archives: Alex

Learn to play guitar like Jaymz

I think we can all agree that James Hetfield is one of the best metal guitarists around. He may not be a lead guitarist, but he wrote Master Of Puppets. Enough said. That’s like a ‘get out of a metal argument free card’ or something.

– Metallica did this and that, I hate them now!
– But dude, they wrote Master Of Puppets.
– Damn, you’re right.

Anyway, want to play guitar just like him? It’s possible. You must get his new signature EMG pickups, though. That’s all you need, really… Oh, you also need talent, but that’s a relative term these days (Lady Gaga anyone?).

Make the jump for a teaser clip of the pickups. To be honest, they look badass.

Headlines for all the children

Steven Tyler (whose daughter is pictured above because his mouth alone slows our site down tremendously) is releasing his new single via Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. Seacrest and Tyler are, of course, both on American Idol. You can listen to the song here but here’s a real test: Do you know which season of American Idol is currently airing? If you do, congratulations, you like cock.

Sandra Schleret (who?) left Elis (who?). She claims her four year journey has been… Wait, why am I even bothering? She left, they’ll get a new singer so they can make new songs no one heard of. The end.

Vreid will hit the road in North America with Kampfar and Necronomicon. It starts August 25 in Toronto and ends God-knows-when cause I seriously lost interest but hey, look at those band names. They remind of that scrambled text meme: “aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae.”

Speaking of names I can’t pronounce, check out Enslaved‘s new EP here. It’s called Heimvegen (what?) and you can stream it following the link I just posted. Or you can just close this site and see what’s new on YouPorn. Your choice, really…

Black Label Society aren’t greedy

Zakk Wylde may need a shower… And a diet… But he doesn’t need yo’ money, yo. Because the upcoming Black Label Society album is available for streaming. All of it.

At least this is what a few sites are saying… But the link they’re all giving is this one, and it brings me to a movie soundtrack that looks like it comes from a flick so lame, that if you watch it, you automatically get bullied.

So, yeah, are people making fun of me or what’s up? I really wanted to find the correct link for the album so I can ignore it like I ignore all the other BLS releases.

Anyway, the album is called The Song Remains Not The Same (really, what happens to it? I’m intrigued!!!) and it features a lot of awesome metal stars like country legend John Rich, amongst others. It sounds REALLY interesting. I think AOL pulled it from streaming to do us a favor.

Oh well, check out the cover and track listing after the jump.

No RATM album, yo

If you’re waiting for a new Rage Against The Machine album, tough luck. It’s not happening anytime soon, according to a recent Tom Morello interview:

“Right now there are no… You know, the band is not writing songs, the band is not in the studio. We get along famously and we all, you know, intend to do more Rage Against The Machine stuff in the future, but beyond sort of working out a concert this year, there’s nothing else on the schedule.“

Hey, if you’re desperate for a new RATM album, just take any RATM song you want, play it over and over again and voila… That’s exactly what a new album would sound like.

Ed Force One sold out

Iron Maiden’s plane, Ed Force One, is being used for mortals too. That’s right, it’s not just metal legends being flown around in it. Apparently when the band isn’t using it, this baby is flying normal people who can’t play instruments or write metal anthems. Sounds like blasphemy to me.

“The plane is regularly used for commercial flights when not in use by Iron Maiden, but usually the band’s distinctive livery is removed first. It is owned by Gatwick-based company Astreaus airline, which counts Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson as one of its pilots, and first leased the Boeing 757-200 to the band for their Somewhere Back In Time tour in 2007.“

Read full article here.

I’m not gonna lie to you, I wouldn’t mind flying in that thing. I wouldn’t mind having Bruce as a pilot, either. Maybe there’s a business venture in there somewhere. I already have the slogan: “Up the irons… Literally!”

I should be in fucking Harvard Business School or something.