Author Archives: Alex

Young kids and instruments

People have been asking me why I am so mean to children and insult their playing. Why? Because they are bad at their instruments and they’re advertised on YouTube, by their parents, as BEST KID DRUMMER EVER or something like that. I’m keeping it real.

People have also been asking me if I can do better than those kids. The answer is yes, I can.

Anyway, today I’m gonna post a video of a kid who’s actually good on drums, despite his age. I really think this kid has tremendous potential.

To my future victims: That’s how you play the drums. If you’re not as good as him, ask your parents not to film you.

My rating:

K.K. goes away but replacement’s on the way

Nice rhymes, right? Blow me.

Anyway, I don’t know what to make of this Judas Priest ‘last tour.’ First K.K. Downing gets excited about it, then they announce the tour is their last one, then they ‘clarify‘ that it’s just the last big tour and not their last one and now K.K. Downing is being replaced.

Double-you-tea-eff.

“It is with regret that Judas Priest announce that K.K. Downing has formally retired from the band and will therefore not be joining them on their forthcoming Epitaph Tour. […] Fate also stepped in and delivered the perfect replacement – 31 year old British guitar player Richie Faulkner – he has blended into the band perfectly and is a great talent who is going to help set the stage on fire!“

Read full statement here.

Umm… Okay? By the way, if you don’t know what to expect from their upcoming live shows, they clear that shit up as well…

“The Metal Gods are preparing to tour the planet once more – Heavy Metal at its best complete with lasers, lights, bikes and hellfire!! It’s a show not to be missed!!“

Bikes, lasers and hellfire? Oh, you know me all too well, Judas Priest PR guy who wrote this thing. I’m definitely going now!!!!!!!

Weak Recap: We’re amazing

This is our fifth Weak Recap, which means we ran out of writers to interview so I’m back interviewing Guido. God dammit. At least old man river up there approves.

In case you aren’t familiar with this recap thing, it’s a way for us to whore ourselves interview each other by recapping the week’s news. Pretty cool, right? Wrong… It’s lame and self-indulgent but hey, at least it’s original. Most other sites just do basic lists. Blah, we do shit properly, yo.

Make the jump and if you’re truly bored.

Duff isn’t rich

Don’t believe everything you hear. Former Guns N’ Roses bassist Duff McKagan isn’t rich.

“Yeah, I’ve been very fortunate. But rich? People make huge assumptions about the guys in GNR. They think I’m fucking rolling in it. But trust me, you don’t have any idea what I make.“

Read full interview here.

I have one question… Who makes these assumptions? I never thought many bassists were ‘rolling in it’ and certainly not Duffy. Not even in the GNR days, let alone now. I do have an idea what he makes:  not much.

Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate his honesty, but it’s like me saying “Yeah, in spite of popular belief, I am not that amazing in bed… Just moderately amazing.”

Young kids and instruments

This 11 year old decided to take a dump on pay tribute to Randy Rhoads’ legacy by covering his famous ‘Crazy Train’ solo. The result? Awful.

Is he doing tapping with his middle finger or is he flipping us off? This is sloppier than a $5 hooker’s blowjob. I’m sorry.

My rating:

This video is 3 years old though. Make the jump to see the same kid performing it again, in 2010.