Author Archives: Mark

Van Halen new album title revealed?

Van Halen, the band not even my Grandfather’s Grandfather would admit to liking, apparently have a new album coming out — That alone is news to me — but apparently, according to Blabbermouth, Swiss multimedia shop CeDe, Van Halen has set A Different Kind Of Truth as the title of its new album, which will allegedly be released on February 7.

In other news, I just checked my pubes and I found Pthirus pubis.

Snooze-switch Engage lose singer

Killswitch Engage, the most boring band in the whole of metal-land, announced yesterday that their frontman Howard Jones has officially left the band.

Ok, so this news is a day old, but a) Killswitch Engage suck, b) I was too busy getting laid, and c) I don’t fucking care.

When asked to comment, Howard growled a few verses before singing a cheesy chorus about heartache. Others scratched their heads.

Napalm Death frontman interviewed

Napalm Death frontman, Barney, has perhaps one of the most un-metal names around. Then again, his real first name is Mark, which is also my name, so he must be pretty awesome. Plus, we’ve interviewed him too before, so that makes him very awesome.

Anyways, Barney has been interviewed for the latest episode of ‘The Governor’s Ball’ and you can listen to the audio clips over at Blabbermouth.

Christmas meets Metal

Christmas Eve; too drunk to care for Metal news, too sozzled to write, so instead I felt like posting the above video. Youtuber 331Erock posts a lot of ‘Metalized’ interpretations of popular songs, and the above medley of well known Christmas songs is amongst my favorites. Check it out.

Merry Christmas fuckers, make sure you have a Metal one.

Another Korn story – World yawns

Munky of Korn was interviewed again, for some reason. This time he was interviewed by The Pulse Of Radio. You can check the interview out at Blabbermouth.

In the interview, Munky describes how home is the place to be at Christmas, and that’s literally it.

Well Munky, fucking duh! I hate people, so Christmas is awesome, because you get to spend it without seeing a single other person. Plus you have a chance to get smashed. Brilliant.

Meanwhile, Korn fans have the difficult decision to decide whether to buy the new album this Christmas for $15, or wait until next Christmas when they’ll be able to get the band to perform in their living room for the same price. Personally, I’d choose neither, because Korn suck.