Author Archives: Mark

Naglfar announce new lineup – World yawns

The Black Metal mob, Naglfar, hailing from Sweden, have announced a new lineup (the above picture is of an older lineup… I would guess anyways — It’s not like I care)

Meanwhile, I’ve just replaced my bollocks with a new titanium pair and they’re fucking awesome.

For more on Naglfar‘s new lineup and less on my balls, head to Blabbermouth.

And now time for some metal

I’m sick of posting about fucking shitty ass, alleged, so-called “metal”. How about I actually post some real metal? Good idea, right?

Listen to Evile‘s ‘Cult’ above and enjoy.

Korn guitarist found new album challenging

Munky of Korn fame recently spoke to Peter Hodgson of IHeartGuitarBlog.com about the recording of the new album, The Path of Totality.

The Korn guitarist has described the making of the album as ‘challenging’ (I know what you mean Munky, I found it challenging to listen to) and discussed some other stuff I was way too lazy to read. Honestly, reading that drivel was more depressing than the time I got hit by a car.

You can read it all over at Blabbermouth.

This has got to be a joke…

Ever heard of Asking Alexandria? No, me neither, because like you, I listen to real metal — not whiny, generic ‘girly’ “metal” (metal put in quotation marks, because well, it’s not really metal is it?).

That said, forget Eddie Van Halen, forget Brian May, don’t even think about Dimebag Darrell, and make no mention of Tony Iommi. Why, I hear you ask? Because Alternative Press and their readers have decided instead that Asking Alexandria‘s guitarist, Ben Bruce, is the top guitarist of 2011.

Who needs shredding, creativity and alternating finger tapping, when you can just play open chords, power chords and the odd not-completely-predictable-at-all breakdown, right? If they say he’s the best guitarist, it must be true. Why would they lie?

You can listen to some shitty song by this shitty band above. I mean, only if you really want to.

Gwar are pissed at Europe

Following from yesterday’s news that Gwar have cancelled their European tour due to poor ticket sales, frontman Oderus Urungus has gone on a fairly large rant about Europe, their promoters and the state of metal over there.

Maybe it’s just that European metal fans have taste? Ever thought about that Odious Uterus?

Check out a screenshot of the rants below, courtesy of Metal Hammer.