Author Archives: Simo
Here’s almost 20 things you can do without
Todd Kerns, the bass player for Slash‘s solo band, revealed there are almost twenty song ready to be recorded for the follow up to Slash’s first album. The record will come out in early 2012, so you have plenty of time to supply yourself with earplugs.
Meanwhile, Axl got into a fight with almost twenty fans.
Tuesday Trivia: The most metal sport
Tuesday Trivia took an unexpected break the past two weeks, so we’re back with vengeance. Going where no metalhead has ever gone before — outside of our basements and doing sports.
What is the most metal sport out there?. Make the jump and prepare to have your mind blown.
What’s worse than a festival with Limp Bizkit and Staind?
I know, a festival that also has Papa Roach, P.O.D, Puddle of Mudd, and… wait for it… Asking Alexandria! Holy shit, it’s like the 90’s and their metalcore bastard child decided to indulge in an orgy. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were there as well… If you got the Orgy joke, you get 5 points taken from your metal achievements scale.
I have no idea who came up with this brilliant joke fest, but I’m disappointed that they didn’t gas the place or something. I mean come on. Noisecreep has a review that sounds like it was written by a 13 year old girl who had a huge crush on Fred Durst back when she was young and stupid enough to be listening to nu metal, and you can read it here.
To close this pathetic article, I have a hypothetical: If I have a penis, but no one has seen it, does it exist? Having a sort of crisis here, would appreciate a word of comfort. I mean, my life’s already come down to writing about Staind on weekly basis, which is just one step above being in Staind.
The throne is dead
The Devil Wears Prada, the band you might know by all the jokes I made about their name, have fucking owned me. And metal in general. The band’s latest offering, Dead Throne, which came out last Tuesday cracked the US Top 10. Barely, because they got the 10th spot.
Now, I know what you might be thinking, hey, you can buy enough CDs of your own to get to the Top 10 nowadays, but the worst thing about this: they fucking got in, Anthrax is #12. Shame on you, America.
Tuesday Trivia: Metal connection #3 – Christopher Lee
They say you learn something new every day, which is completely true. Now, take a word of advice from me, it’s not always a good thing. I learned something today, and I had to watch a Rhapsody video because of it. *queue symphonic power metal joke*
Having said that, I leave it up to you to make the decision, if you want to take the risk, make the jump and deal with the consequences.
