Author Archives: Simo
Shit Shatner sings
Yesterday Revolver magazine premiered William Shatner‘s collaboration with Zakk Wylde, cover of Sabbath‘s Iron Man, and since we’ve been too busy being too awesome, we’re posting it today. But hey, it’s never too late to make fun of people, right?
Speaking of which, I’m not going to do it. I mean, it’s obvious as hell he’s either trolling or being super naive. And you know what? It’s the first of those two, which makes you naive for thinking it could be anything else. About the song, you can hear it bellow if you really want to, and see the album cover for Seeking Major Tom (coming out next month) after the jump.
There’s a band called The Browning
For real. Step aside The Devil Wears Prada, I just found my newest joke. I mean seriously, The Browning? It sounds like some move you make when you wipe your ass. Also, the guy on the picture above (on the far right) looks like he’s totally browning right now.
Anyway, the band will join Oceano on tour, which made me even less interested in hearing these guys’ music, but hey, a name is a name, and music is music, if they’re good, who gives a shit what they’re called. See what I just did there, wink wink.
Cutting yourself makes you popular
Swedish black/experimental/slash metal band Shining had their first-ever single (whose name I can’t possibly type) certified gold, proving that you can cut yourself and be popular at the same time, unlike the high school fat chicks who treat their thighs with razors once a week after they’ve had too many donuts.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Shining. In case you’re not familiar, I’d recommend reading Guido’s hit article Pain is inspiration (a shining view on black metal), which was featured in yesterday’s Top 10, so go read that one as well. Band frontman Niklas Kvarforth had the following to say:
“I never thought I would have a Shining gold record hanging on my bathroom wall. I want thank all our past, present and future fans for helping us turn our world into a worse place to live, and pray for the day we will be able to infect other countries on such a big scale!”
Quite the attitude he’s got there. We feel great about this, but we’re scared the sudden fame might hit Niklas in the head. I mean, if he starts cutting himself with some pimped up knifes, it simply won’t be the same. Keep it real, dawg!
Bush has a video
Imagine what a George W. sextape would look like… Yuck.
No, not that Bush, the Bush you might remember if you were alive in the 90’s. Hey, if we can make fun of Nickelback and Godsmack, we can at least do the same with Gwen Stefani’s husband. I’m kidding, I can’t make fun of Gavin, because he’s clearly married to a witch. I mean, how can you explain her looking exactly the fucking same over the last 15 years. Spells, that’s how you explain it, and I don’t want to have anything with that shit.
Back on topic, apparently the band have a video out for their song “The Sound of Winter.” According to Blabbermouth it can be seen on their page, but all I got is a blank square, but hey, you might be more lucky, check the article here. You can also see a lyrics video after the jump, just so I’d justify the post title.
