Author Archives: Simo

Fuck winter. Metal is coming!

Besides the fact I stole the pun from the top rated YouTube comment of this video (which means I read YouTube comments, which means I’m kinda fucked in the head), I just had to use an opportunity to profess my love for Game of Thrones on this website.

There you have it, the intro tune for the show re-done by some bro on guitars and labeled metal. Neither is the clip that interesting, nor is it that new, but I still enjoyed it, and hey, I write for this website and you don’t, so shut the fuck up. And if there’s a slim chance you’re not familiar with Game of Thrones, let me break it down for you — it’s like Lord of the Rings, except for straight people. Oh no he din’t!

Animals As Leaders reveal album tracklist

Wow, it feels like it’s been days since my last Animals As Leaders news post. Well, the injustice has been fixed, and I can bore you some more.

The band has revealed the tracklist for the recently announced Weightless, and thanks to ThePRP, you can see it here as well. Copy/paste news, ????, profit, Simo’s own blow-up doll!

The album tracklist:

01 – “An Infinite Regression”
02 – “Odessa”
03 – “Somnarium”
04 – “Earth Departure”
05 – “Isolated Incidents”
06 – “Do Not Go Gently”
07 – “New Eden”
08 – “Cylindrical Sea”
09 – “Espera”
10 – “To Lead You To An Overwhelming Question”
11 – “Weightless”
12 – “David“

My favorite song title would be “Do Not Go Djently.” 

Wayne Static married a porn star

With regards, Captain Obvious.

Seriously though, we fucking get it. Your wife used to be a pornstar. It only took about ten songs named after her, 20 songs about her, and 30 videos featuring her to get through our thick fucking skulls.

Anyway, if you have any desire to listen to a song by Wayne Static while watching him hump Tera Wray for about four minutes, Noisecreep premiered the video for “Assasins of Youth” today. The closest thing I can compare this video to would be Marilyn Manson‘s (s)AINT, but where Manson tries way too fucking hard to come across as shocking and intelligent, Wayne tries too fucking hard to come across as shocking and funny.

And finally, about the song… Let’s do a little experiment. Before you hit that play button, stop for a second, close your eyes and imagine what a solo song by Wayne Static might sound like. Hit play. You will shit bricks.

Tuesday Trivia: Tom Morello’s sexy secret

I just stumbled on this article which details Tom Morello’s early days in Los Angeles, where he moved after graduating from Harvard. The funny part? After the jump!

Tesseract name their new album, will preview new song on tour

The band that seems to be my top ‘posted about’ in the past few weeks (not because I like them, probably because other websites don’t), have named their new album. It’s called Neophobia, and according to a fresh post on their Facebook:

Next album will be called Neophobia. You can hear a track from it whilst we’re on tour this September on the following dates: LONDON 0809| CARDIFF 0909| BIRMINGHAM 1009| MANCHESTER 1109| NEWCASTLE 1209| GLASGOW 1309| LEEDS 1509| SHEFFIELD 1609| NOTTINGHAM 1709 – Tickets will also be available on the door London £11, all others £9.

Well, besides deciding on the worst possible album name amidst a change of the band’s vocalist, the band also evidently figured out how to time-travel. Watch out 12th century Manchester, Tesseract is coming!