Author Archives: Simo
The Devil Wears Prada offer new album for stream
And I guess all three fans and band members’ mothers will be happy to hear that. I mean, what can I say about the band whose biggest compliment I can think of is “Well, at least they’re not Emmure?”
You can listen to Dead Throne at deadthrone.com.
Weak Recap: Solo style
Hey, it’s another Sunday, and you know what that means, time for your favorite weekly interview. The one we do with each other.
Except, you’re not getting one.
Apparently, other people at Dose of Metal obviously have this thing called “life” and they’re too busy with their “girlfriends.” You know where that leaves me? Same place I was last week — alone in the room, wishing I had enough money to buy myself a plastic one.
I’m just kidding, blow up dolls are for pussies, real men pleasure themselves. And by that, I don’t mean I can reach my penis with my mouth. I just make the best use of my hands. Speaking of my hands and wonderful results, make the jump to read my solo recap.
Music doesn’t sell. What about books?
I just came up on an interesting article on Roling Stone’s website (the magazine’s website, not the band’s… the confusion kinda fits this article). Apparently, Keith Richards’ book, entitled “Life,” has sold 1 million copies.
That’s one million. If that were albums, it would have been platinum. Sure, The Rolling Stones are extremely popular, and they have audience whose age spans from the past three centuries or whatever, but the number still seems huge, considering many rock bands barely sell a few thousands of CDs nowadays. Not many of those rockers climb palm trees when they’re 62, though, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised after all. I wonder if the book explains that one.
In other merch news: Slayer have released their own brand of condoms
You can read that again: Slayer have released their own brand of condoms. They’re apparently sold out (condoms), but you can check the product order page to see when they’ll restock.
This seriously has to be the dumbest idea for merchandise ever, simply due to the name. Slayer condoms. God-damn. I’ll leave the jokes up to you, but I do have to admit I found the description on their page funny: “For when you’re going South of Heaven!”
Check the condom page at Slayer Store to buy some., check the original article at Metal Hammer, and make the jump to see a photo.
It’s getting hot in here
And I’m already out of my clothes so this pun kinda lost it’s purpose. It is really hot around here, 40 degrees or more (Celsius for the motherfucking win), and my only fan ain’t blowing hard enough. Pun retrieved.
Anywho, I’d kill for a beer right now. Which is why this news piece made me even thirstier: Amon Amarth have their own brand of beer out!
A beer for the end of ages brewed with our friends in the band AMON AMARTH. This Aesir Porter is a robust and hearty beer brewed with local honey and a small portion of smoked malt. When Heimdall sounds the Giallar-horn this is the beer to be hoisted by the gods in anticipation of the coming battle.
Now excuse me while I try to enter the fridge and pretend I’m in the picture above. Photo of the beer after the jump.
