Author Archives: Simo

Tuesday Trivia: Metal connection #1 – Nicolas Cage

There’s something pretty weird about Nicolas Cage. His movies are either pretty good, or pretty shit. Or Ghost Rider, which is a category of its own.

What the hell does any of that have to do with metal, you might ask? Well, as part of a short series of trivia articles I’m thinking of starting, I’ll be going places outside of metal to look for metal. Make the jump now, because it’s Tuesday Trivia time, bitch.

Wayne Static is super creative

What you can see above is a clip from Wayne Static‘s solo effort titled Pighammer. Besides the guitar tone and riffing being reminiscent of a Wisconsin Death Trip b-side, he was also very creative with the video. In case you missed it, he has something that looks like a hammer, and the girl has a pig nose sewn onto her face. Mind-blown. The girl is his wife, and his wife is a porn star, so maybe it’s just their little joke? “I’ma pighammer yo face, gurrrl” or whatever. Dick-blown.

I can’t be really too judgmental of the song, though — I’ll save that for when the full video comes out and his screeching vocals kick in.

Tesseract Shmesseract

Holy shit you guys, Tesseract (or TesseracT, if you wanna be a bitch about it) changed their frontman! It took only two days for the world to notice, because Got Djent first reported it this Saturday and it’s only now making the headlines of basement metal bloggers from around the world.

Apparently, the band had a show, and surprisingly in place of their regular speak and scream machine vocalist Dan Tompkins, the band performed that night with Elliot Coleman. No one is quite sure what the reason was, and I suspect even less people care. Still, you can check out a shitty video of the performance above.

SpongeBob CoreyPants

Hipster Corey let us in on one of his next amazing and totally metal career moves — making a children’s music album, which he demonstrated by performing the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants at a recent show. Rad. The album will also be known as Stone Sour‘s Number Four, though rumors are circulating that he might claim the Slipknot name as well, and that the children in the video are the new line-up.

Kidding aside, he performed it during a benefit show for Aaron Lewis’ “It Takes A Comunity” charity, plus if you’ve ever been forced to sit through a day with a small kid watching cartoons, you’ll know SpongeBob is pretty awesome, so it’s all cool. Except for the hat and glasses combo, and the awkward feeling of realizing this guy used to scream how he wants to slit someone’s throat and fuck the wound, and now looks like he’s one candy away from looking like a pedophile victim.

More videos, including Corey and Aaron performing Queen classic We Will Rock You, can be found here.

Stage at Pukkelpop Festival fell down, three people reported dead

I wish this was just a funny way of saying that 30 Seconds To Mars are breaking up or something (coincidentally, they are playing this festival), but unfortunately, this is real. A storm crashed a stage at Belgium’s Pukkelpop Festival, and latest reports indicate at least three people have died, and 71 got injured as the result.

Not much to do or say but pay our respects to the unfortunately deceased… R.I.P.