Author Archives: Simo
Being badass has its downsides
Hey there little man. Ever dreamed of being a modern rockstar member of a somewhat internet popular band? Think of all the perks… You get not to have a real job. Yeah, fuck those clowns, waking up at 6 AM is for pussies. I’m pretty sure you also get to drink free booze every now and then. Play awesome shows at clubs that take only 50 people. Keeping it real. Meeting lots of fans. One day maybe even getting a chance to touch a girl’s boob. Take mad photos with your crew and post it on your blog, looking forward to someone retweeting it. It’s happened like three times already. If you’re a wizard at the instrument you’re playing, maybe even have a clinic hosted after you. Take that, classmates that went to medschool, you’ll be lucky if you get your own office one day. Commit badass crimes, just because you’re loco. Maybe even be featured at Dose of Metal, if you’re really good.
Now, I don’t know if Atilla are good, and I’m not sure if anything I’ve mentioned above is true (except for the crime part), but here’s their big break: they’re getting a shout-out at this site. Apparently, the band’s been banned from entering Canada, because of frontman’s Chris Fronzak’s legal problems, so they’ll miss out on the No Stars All Stars tour. Judging by the picture above, all I can say is: Good for Canada.
Back when they were still good
I stumbled on this video, and for a moment felt like sharing it as ‘Back when they were still good: Sepultura,’ but then I remembered that Sepultura is still fucking awesome in my book. So, why post it? Just look at the crowd. Compare that to any clip you’ll find today with a bunch of tweens capturing the memory of the show they’re in on their precious iPhones. What the fuck will you recall when you look at those clips when you watch them afterwards? How you’ve spent the night standing like a zombie and looking at the show through a fucking cellphone?
Compare that to the clip above: Show takes place at something that looks like an abandoned warehouse. Metal? Check. Crazy circle pit that doesn’t stop for 7+ minutes of this video? Check. Crazy wreckless head stagediving? Check. Bunch of Mexicans creating fucking memories? Check.
Sure, there weren’t any cellphones to tape with back then, but… fuck you. You still look like a tool.
Everyone’s been raving about this video…
Of course, it means shit as long as we don’t confirm it. Many other metal sites have gone on to say how the video for Powerglove’s (apparently a band, not a sextoy for guys) Batman (apparently a superhero, not a sextoy for gals) is super awesome, and well, we’re here to confirm it. It’s pretty awesome. If you’re into late 80s music and early 90s console games, you’re gonna love it. Even if you’re not, you should appreciate the humor. So yeah, from the most relevant 1337 source you have, it’s well worth your time.
Is this shit for real?
I don’t know how old this is (looks like it came from a few years back, but apparently the video says 2011), all I know is that someone beat Attack Attack! in the “Hoooooly fucking shit” category. Make sure you have a phone near you so you can call the ambulance if you start to choke from laughter, definitely make sure you don’t have any guns around, then make the jump.
Staind solo-lololo
Staind, the band Fred Durst listens to when he’s feeling emo, can’t write for shit. They have about 5 albums to prove my claim, and what’s even better, now they’re officially admitting it: They can’t write solos, and they’re letting other people do it for them. Haha.
Well, truth is, they’re having some competition where they’ll let fans write alternative solos for their song (with an ironically amazing title) Not Again. The winner of the competition will get Aaron Lewis’ NASCAR ornaments and a shotgun, while in return, Staind will receive another 5 albums worth of solos. That’s why we urge you, even if you’re just a shitty guitar player (therefore already above this band in terms of quality) and want to do it ‘for the lulz,’ simply don’t. In case you really want to give it a shot, you can find details here.
