Author Archives: Simo

Dose of new metal

Hey guys, whatcha doing? Having a good day? Well, I’m here to ruin it make it even better for you. Five Finger Death Punch have a new song out! Aren’t you super excited? Well, then you’re going to go crazy over a new P.O.D. track! But wait, there’s more — some guys from Deftones met some guys from Far and made some completely new atrocity. The only reason “new” in the title isn’t “nu” is because I’ve managed to balance things out by finding a new Opeth song, and a surprise track by another band. Ooooo, which one is it?

Make the jump and find out.

Tuesday Trivia: Of parodies and weed

Wazzup…

There is something about parodies that doesn’t always sit right with me. But that’s probably because I grew up watching things like Scary Movie (which was even tolerable) inspire a generation of idiotic excuses for 70 minutes of “entertainment.” Since everything I ever wrote on this website is a weak rehash of someone else’s jokes, I’ll just tell you to check out Maddox’s amazing video on the subject, so we can turn to the more important things. Things like metal.

Mastodon’s Black Tongue leaked

Sounds like some serious case of STDs, right? Well, it’s not, it’s “just” Mastodon with their new song, Black Tongue. Apparently, yesterday a leak appeared, then it got pulled, then it reappeared, then YouTube blocked it, then… Bla. What matters is that a proper upload appeared, in the shape of a video which chronicles the creation of the sculpture used on the album cover. Play it, enjoy it.

Remember the one with Corey and Velvet Revolver?

Hey guys, remember me? I used to write for this website a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away). Lame puns? Well, forgive me, I’m a little bit rusty. But it’s okay, that means I’m still metal, right? Get it, metal, rust? Still got it.

I’ve thought long and hard about what could make my comeback as lame as the jokes I would be using, so I naturally went to Dose of Metal’s frontpage and checked to see the last time any Corey Taylor news were posted. Nothing on the front page = start looking for some.

The article I found is about as interesting as my last article on the website is fresh (slightly more than my underwear. Fresh, that is, nothing interesting in there) — there are still rumors about Corey Taylor and Velvet Revolver floating around. What the fuck? I thought that story has been told about a gazillion times and that it’s over, and I was all ready to follow Corey’s soap with Slipknot, now all of a sudden this again? To be short and on point — Matt Sorum calls Corey a sweetheart and whatnot in some interview, and mentions they have like an album worth of songs. And it’s like super awesome. Read the interview here. Warning: clicking on that link will shrink your penis.

Alice Cooper is a pro

Alice Cooper got ill and canceled a show in Chile last night. Why am I reporting this, when bands cancel shows all the time? Yeah, true, but the last time Alice Cooper canceled a show was 30 years ago. Impressive? Quite so. We wish him a full and fast recovery.

Meanwhile, Axl Rose was only 30 minutes late to a show last night, and asked why no one is reporting on his excellent track record – not being that late two nights in a row.