Category Archives: Crap

Fuck winter. Metal is coming!

Besides the fact I stole the pun from the top rated YouTube comment of this video (which means I read YouTube comments, which means I’m kinda fucked in the head), I just had to use an opportunity to profess my love for Game of Thrones on this website.

There you have it, the intro tune for the show re-done by some bro on guitars and labeled metal. Neither is the clip that interesting, nor is it that new, but I still enjoyed it, and hey, I write for this website and you don’t, so shut the fuck up. And if there’s a slim chance you’re not familiar with Game of Thrones, let me break it down for you — it’s like Lord of the Rings, except for straight people. Oh no he din’t!

Watch old people review The Black Dahlia Murder

Every metal site out there already covered this, so why shouldn’t we? Are we not good enough?

Anyway, the video above is a part of the web series called Breakfast at Sulimay’s, where three senior citizens review new music, including metal. This episode had The Black Dahlia Murder (skip to 4:40 mark), and I gotta say, I found it funny, especially because of the slow introduction. That grandma’s facial expressions when the heavy part kicked in is also priceless. Apparently, she liked it, but not as much as she likes “Murdoch” (Marduk). The two guys weren’t as supportive, but hey, I’m only 25 and I can’t stand the new stuff like dancecore.

Grandma’s also down with da Bizkit, and you can watch their review of Shotgun after the jump (the review starts at the 5:07 mark).

Back when they were still good

Just kidding 😛

This is back in the days when Robb Flynn had a bit of a semi for Fred Durst (if you’re reading this Robb, please don’t kill me), but luckily the band are back to their ass kicking selves. The new, as yet untitled, album is scheduled for release in September 2011. If it’s anywhere near as good as 2007’s The Blackening, we’re in for another real treat.

Wake up!

Hey, it’s early morning (somewhere in this world, I hope, to the rest of you – shut the fuck up), and what better way to start it than with a Sepultura song? Okay, you could start it with a blowjob from a hot chick, but face it, if you are reading this, you’re most likely a nerd (and if it’s actually morning, even more so) and this is the next best thing.

Last week the band released the title track from their upcoming album Kairos, and I gotta say, it’s pretty fucking sweet. Don’t trust me? Have a listen, and judge for yourself.

What if…

…Linkin Park were actually Metal? Then they might sound something a little like this… Quite the improvement I think you will find.