Category Archives: News

A test in logic

I just read an article about Seether listening to Sepultura before each of their shows (note the hair of who I believe is the singer), and I wanted to do a thought experiment. If they listen to Sepultura, and so do I, does that make them awesome, or does that make me awful? If it makes them soft, does it make me hard? You perv. If Amy Lee screwed their singer, yet she didn’t screw me, does that make him awful, or does that make me awesome? If this post lacks any actual logic, does it make a sound?

Sure it does. Make the jump.

Guitar Tivo

Hey you guitar geeks, had enough of YouTube? Some Justin Bieber fan disliked your video clip 34 times?
Two things: 1) Read this. 2) Go here.

What is the second thing? Here’s what my source had to say:

GuitarTV.com is a 24-hour interactive channel loaded with streaming videos of legendary guitar performances by some of the world’s most famous guitarists, interviews, lessons, live broadcasts, and more. GuitarTV.com is also a place for passionate fans of the instrument to connect with each other.

It’s done by Steve Vai and some other guy, and it’s got all sorts of interesting stuff. When I opened it, I saw Andy McKee playing his dick guitar (I’m not lying). Fun times, so check it out and let us know what you thought about it.

Steven Tyler denies having a large penis

Oh boy, here we go…

So, Steven Adler told a story about walking in on Steven Tyler screwing four women, and described his penis as being ‘the biggest in rock ‘n’ roll.’ In anyone’s book, that’s a huge compliment. Someone’s a witness to your incredible sexual feat AND is testifying about the size of your manhood. Where do I sign up for such press?

Don’t get me wrong, Tyler, but an eyewitness to your being heterosexual is something to cherish when you wear tight leather pants and makeup. I’m just saying.

So being the sexually secure guy that he is, Steven Tyler denied the claims. Yes, really.

“First of all, I’ve never been with a guy when I’ve been with three or four women. I just don’t swing that way; I’m sorry. Thank god I got sober. I might have wound up… Who knows?! I wasn’t that promiscuous, let’s just say. [Adler] was dreaming about my schlong.“

Read full article here.

I don’t know what’s sadder, Adler feeling the need to talk about Tyler’s ‘big penis,’ Tyler denying it, or me writing about it… Either way, there goes my credibility with the ladies. The fact that I’m ‘blogging’ wasn’t chasing chicks away fast enough, I had to write penis articles to make them run even faster.

🙁

Def Leppard do Leno

Def Leppard have single-handedly (literally) performed on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I really don’t know what else to say, just wanted to make that joke.

You can find the show here if NBC.com is kind enough to stream it in your country. You can find Google here if you want to look up how awesome I am.

AC/DC aren’t American Idol fans

Ever since Steven Tyler’s joined American Idol, everyone in the rock music business feels the need to comment on the show. News flash, folks, the show’s been around for a while. I understand that this may be, in part, the interviewer’s fault for asking the question, but it’s just a bit pathetic how everyone is coming out of the woodwork to weigh in on the show’s format. Where were you 10 years ago?

I’m not the biggest Aerosmith fan but give Tyler a break. He was offered a chance to join the biggest TV show in history, he’s like 105 years old, what’s he gonna do, pass on it?  AC/DC may be huge enough to say no to these things but other musicians would sell their organs for a similar break.

Anyway, apparently Brian thinks ‘making it’ via this show is not right:

“There’s only one way to do it. You get on the stage, you learn your trade and you get out and play in front of people. You serve your apprenticeship just like anybody else.“

I do kinda understand where he’s coming from, but I’ll play the devil’s asshole advocate for a while. Why is winning this show such a sin? It’s true that in half a year they go from being nobody to being a potential recording artist, but aren’t they working hard for it too? Can you imagine the pressure of singing live, as an amateur, and every mistake of yours to be dissected on the spot by four people? (out of which one is Jennifer Lopez, Jesus.)

I’d understand the point if this show was about musicians winning record deals in a lottery, but they work for it too. Is it as hard as playing live decades and decades (like Anvil) and not making it big until you’re 50? No, but we all make our own luck. It’s like saying Edward Norton shouldn’t have been nominated for an Oscar for his role in Primal Fear cause it was his first role and he didn’t put as much work into acting as others.

Bullshit. Talent is talent, a lucky break is a lucky break. You can’t expect everyone to follow the same path to success in the exact same way.

“The shortcut way leads to tears at the end of the day. It’s all hype. And it’s not fair on the kids to make them famous one week and then nobodies the next. It’s just not right.“

Read full article here.

Why isn’t it right? No one forced those kids to be there. They chose to be involved. Everyone on that show must know that only one or two may get a career and the rest will fade away. All they’re looking for is to be noticed. They get it. It’s up to them to turn it into success, like others have. Right?

Besides, how many bands work as hard as the big bands but never get picked up by a major record label and resort to touring Walmart parking lots? Life isn’t fair and the music business certainly isn’t fair. At least with American Idol, the public has some sort of control, as opposed to the way major labels used to shove ‘artists’ down our throats via MTV. And they kept bribing paying and paying and paying for airtime until they sold enough records. Why don’t we comment on that before commenting on the show?

I’m just saying…

Of course, I’m not defending American Idol, I’m just against the way people talk about it like it’s ‘what’s wrong with music’ when in fact, this is what’s been wrong with music since the music industry’s inception. American Idol is just another big company using musicians as pawns. Nothing new whatsoever.