Category Archives: News

Don't fuck with Bon Jovi

Why? Because they can probably buy the town you’re living in, move out everyone except you, and turn every building into a giant speaker blasting Bon Jovi tunes all day long. It’s how I imagine hell, actually…

Anyway, the numbers:

On Friday, Billboard announced Bon Jovi as the highest grossing touring act – making it the second time in three years that the rock band has nabbed the honor.

From November 20, 2009, through November 28, 2010, Bon Jovi reported a box office gross of $146,507,388 and an overall attendance of 1,591,154. They sold out 69 shows this year.

Wow, I thought these guys died after the POW-POW video, but a million and a half people just proved me wrong. Just let me know if they still suck, okay?

Former Venom members form PrimEvil

So who are PrimEvil? They are a band consisting of various former Venom members (and they’re named after Venom‘s sixth album, Prime Evil, get it?). Since that doesn’t tell much, because Venom had about a hundred people going through it, the exact people in the band are: original guitar player Jeffrey “Mantas” Dunn, bass player/vocalist Tony “The Demolition Man” Dolan and drummer Antony “Antton” Lant.

You can visit their Myspace page to listen to four full and pretty fucking metal tracks, and you can note 2011 as the year their debut album “Hell to the Holy” will come out.

Lars Ulrich is responsible for half of Apple's sales

Lars Ulrich is a lot of things. Drummer. Art lover. Well okay, that’s all I can think of for now. Still, apparently he’s also a businessman. He’s helped sell half of Apple‘s products. You know that little indie firm, Apple, right? It was unknown until Lars came in and helped it get off its feet.

“I’m the computer whore. Seriously. I am the reason Steve Jobs has sold half the devices that he has. Trust me.“ said Lars while polishing a statue of himself.

Watch interview after the jump.

Oh, don’t worry Lars, trust you we do. I’ve never even heard of Apple or this Stevie Jobe guy or whatever, so I do believe you. Don’t be modest now, we’re sure you’ve helped sell ALL the products, not just half.

Ozzy has an ear for concerts

Unfortunately, Ozzy had to cancel his last two dates of his U.S. tour due to an ear infection.

“ST LOUIS & MINN SHOWS RESCEDULED: (sic) Minn now Wed Jan 12 and St. Louis Fri Jan 14-tix honored and refunds are available at point of purchase“ said a tweet from Ozzy‘s official Twitter account.

I guess eating bats is bound to give you an upset ear once in a while, huh? Hey, blow me, it’s late and I’ve been drinking, if you don’t find this joke funny then you fail at life, virgin…

Who's to blame for Sepultura not reuniting?

Does anyone even remember the old, the one true, Sepultura? You know, that band that featured both Cavalera brothers. No, not Cavalera Conspiracy, even though that’s how Sepultura should sound like nowadays.

Do young metalheads, who got into heavier music because of Soulfly’s work with Fred Durst, even know that Max Cavalera used to be a Death Metal vocalist? Yes, seriously.

Now, who’s to blame for Sepultura not reuniting? Who’s to blame that we’re not getting great music, instead of awful albums about A Clockwork Orange?

Make the jump to see what Max Cavalera thinks about said situation.