Category Archives: News
Animals As Leaders reveal album tracklist
Wow, it feels like it’s been days since my last Animals As Leaders news post. Well, the injustice has been fixed, and I can bore you some more.
The band has revealed the tracklist for the recently announced Weightless, and thanks to ThePRP, you can see it here as well. Copy/paste news, ????, profit, Simo’s own blow-up doll!
The album tracklist:
01 – “An Infinite Regression”
02 – “Odessa”
03 – “Somnarium”
04 – “Earth Departure”
05 – “Isolated Incidents”
06 – “Do Not Go Gently”
07 – “New Eden”
08 – “Cylindrical Sea”
09 – “Espera”
10 – “To Lead You To An Overwhelming Question”
11 – “Weightless”
12 – “David“
My favorite song title would be “Do Not Go Djently.” 
Wayne Static married a porn star
With regards, Captain Obvious.
Seriously though, we fucking get it. Your wife used to be a pornstar. It only took about ten songs named after her, 20 songs about her, and 30 videos featuring her to get through our thick fucking skulls.
Anyway, if you have any desire to listen to a song by Wayne Static while watching him hump Tera Wray for about four minutes, Noisecreep premiered the video for “Assasins of Youth” today. The closest thing I can compare this video to would be Marilyn Manson‘s (s)AINT, but where Manson tries way too fucking hard to come across as shocking and intelligent, Wayne tries too fucking hard to come across as shocking and funny.
And finally, about the song… Let’s do a little experiment. Before you hit that play button, stop for a second, close your eyes and imagine what a solo song by Wayne Static might sound like. Hit play. You will shit bricks.
Metalheadlines: Nostalgia edition
Nightwish (pictured above, even though I have no idea if that’s the current lineup — nor do I care to find out) are filmmakers now, or something. They’re putting together a movie named ‘Imaginaerum’ and an album of the same name. It will be directed by some guy named… Wait, what’s the point? Just read the full article and spare me from having to write any other details, jeez. The second dude from the left does kinda look like Jake Gyllenhaal though, if I’m honest.
Full Metal Jackie interviewed none other than Scott Ian of Anthrax on her show. Blabbermouth has the audio right here, so you can give it a listen by going to their site, cause they actually have information and content, unlike some other metal sites I could mention. We do have longer dicks, of that I’m sure.
Rage will enter the studio in October. Alex doesn’t care in September, nor will he care in October, either.
Dream Theater will tour Europe with some band called Periphery. And I care about this because…? Oh well, dates after the jump.
Grave have some footage online. By footage I mean two YouTube clips. Do you want to watch them? Me neither, but I will embed them after the jump, just to pretend I’m actually doing something on this stupid site.
Kyuss Lives! is the band Kyuss but without its most well-known member: Josh Homme. For some reason, they make music like that, and Brant Bjork spoke to some site about something and blah blah blah, read the interview here. This may seem lazy writing, but at least it’s honest.
Trivium have some footage from their tour. The footage is online. On YouTube. Is it embedded here? Of course. Why? No idea, but you can make the jump if that’s your cup of tea. I liked the band better when they were called Metallica though.
Mike Portnoy talks about 9/11
Mike Portnoy is a man of many talents. He plays drums, he plays.. Well, that’s it, really. So maybe I’m exaggerating, but still, check out what he has to say about September 11. You know, cause September 11 is right around the corner, and it will be its 10th anniversary, so we just have to hear what ever goddamn musician has to say about that tragedy.
“Dream Theater was working in NYC at the time mixing our album ‘Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence’ and I would’ve been driving in that afternoon for our session. But as the events of the morning unfolded, I found myself glued to the TV in disbelief as to what I was witnessing. It was all too surreal. I felt like I was watching a Will Smith Hollywood film. It couldn’t possibly be really happening.“
Read full interview here.
Woah, racist alert. So no matter what, if a building is up in flames, a black man has to be behind it, even if that black man happens to be an A-list movie star. Wow. I am speechless, Mike. Really?
I keed, I keed, he’s obviously referencing either ‘Independence Day,’ a movie about spaceships destroying major cities (which ironically is more believable than some of the 9/11 conspiracies, but let’s not go there… yet), or ‘Wild Wild West,’ such a huge bomb of a movie, it could literally take a few buildings down.
On the reals though, I know 9/11 is nothing to laugh at, but neither is South Park. Yet millions of people laugh at that crap show all the time…
But seriously, I hope I haven’t offended anyone. We get a lot of traffic from New York so, in case you were offended, I sincerely apologize on behalf of my sober self.
Name-dropping Metallica makes headlines. Case in point
Jeff Waters of Annihilator decided to shed some light on a rumor no one even heard of. What rumor, you ask? About Metallica changing the name of their song to “Enter Sandman” after “Never, Neverland” was already taken by them.
I use the term ‘shed a light’ loosely, because he has no idea if the rumor is true or not. So all he does is tell the rumor one more time. Great, that will help. On with more interesting stories, Mr. Waters.
Rumor has it that I have an abnormally big schlong. Wonder why that rumor never makes it in the media. Maybe I also need to name-drop a few big bands, just to get the e-press going.
I will not write an ‘off to never, neverland’ joke. I will not write an ‘off to never, neverland’ joke. I will not write an ‘off to never, neverland’ joke. I will not write an ‘off to never, neverland’ joke. I will not write an ‘off to never, neverland’ joke.
