Eddie gives good head

The other day, sitting at work and bored out of my brain, I decided to surf Amazon.co.uk for metal goodies. Imagine my surprise when I found a second hand Iron Maiden ‘Eddie Head’ from ’98 on sale for £1999.99!

I admit it’s a nice piece of metal kitsch, but 2 grand? C’mon! If memory serves, all the discs in the head are CD-E’s, that is each disc has video content etc pertinent to the CD or tour from when the CD was originally released, and it’s only in the head that these specific discs were made available.

When I got home I went to show my girlfriend that not all my crap taking up our space is rubbish as she claims, but when I landed on the URL… It had been sold! Astonishing. So if anyone out there wants to buy my Eddie Head in mint condition, you can have it for a measly grand, you can’t argue with half price.

Blast From The Past: Slipknot – Iowa

Ten years ago, one band decimated the hundreds of Nu Metal bands and Pop artists taking up the chart slots. Armed with nothing but dark boiler suits, silly masks and sheer ferocity, Slipknot single handedly managed to bring Metal, real Metal, to the top of the charts with sophomore album, Iowa. Regardless of what you may think now, or what your opinion’s of the quality of Slipknot‘s output, there’s no denying this band have achieved a hell of a lot in their career.

The 13-year-old in me loved Slipknot. They were heavy, they were dark, and they said “fuck” a lot without jumping around like a clown (apart from Clown, as he obviously, erm, was a clown) while sporting a red cap. I hated people, and Slipknot hated people too (see ‘People = Shit’). Ten years later, I still hate people, but Corey whines like Chad Kroeger in Stone Sour now and I’ve discovered “better” bands. Despite this, of course the band are re-releasing Iowa (Read: $$$), so now seems like the perfect time for a retrospective on the album. So what are you waiting for? Hurry up and make the jump.

Weekly Dose of Metal: Dark Tranquility

Dark Tranquility are a Melodic Death Metal hailing from Sweden, which is pretty much where all the Melo Death bands come from. It’s like a hotspot or something.

I first came to hear the band with 2005’s Character, an album I loved at the time. I then went to listen to some of the band’s other albums, and oddly I couldn’t really get into any of them. Odd right? Ah well.

Check out ‘My Negation’ taken from Character below. It kicks more ass than a granny in the driver seat.

More Bring Me The Horizon drama

UK’s Daily Mail reports that a guy posing as Bring Me The Horizon‘s frontman Oliver Sykes attempted murder on an American girl. Now, let’s stop for a second.

Fuck the Daily Mail. Continue.

David Russel, a McDonalds employee and huge BMTH fan (the two are usually directly related) met with the victim over Facebook. We’re sure he found some roadkill to put on his head and some sticker tattoos in order to copy Sykes’ apearance. The girl then flew in to Northampton, and he took her to a forest, then slit her throat and stabbed her. Being the ultimate loser that he is, he actually still didn’t manage to kill her, because she somehow escaped. I’m thinking he probably broke a nail or something.

Teaser released for new Biohazard album… Evan’s penis not featured

Among the many disappointments of becoming an adult is coming to the realization that most of the heroes of your youth, especially the musicians, are actually ridiculous clowns in real life. Case in point: Evan Seinfeld.

I love Biohazard. OK, perhaps I should say that in the past tense since I only liked their first three albums, but they played such an important role in my musical adolescence that I am most definitely ‘Down For fuckin’ Life.’

After Biohazard’s success fizzled out in the 90’s, Evan landed a gig on the HBO prison drama series “OZ.” It was a great show, and Evan was passable in his small role; he even received a bit of notoriety for a few scenes that featured full-frontal nudity. Unfortunately, instead of trying to build a respectable acting career playing “Tattooed Thug #2,” Evan misinterpreted the attention he got for his penis as an invitation to show, and insert, said penis as often, and into, as many places as possible. For Evan, a career in porn was the obvious next step.

Clown Status = Achieved.

Evan’s penile pursuits couldn’t keep him away from his music, however, and the result is the forthcoming Biohazard album Reborn in Defiance. Sadly, despite Evan’s concerns that this new album is “almost too good”, he has since parted ways with the band. I imagine the break up was largely due to arguments about how prominent a role Evan’s penis would play on the album cover art and how many chicks he will bang in the accompanying music videos. The fact that this teaser contains NOT ONE SINGLE SHOT of his penis was probably the last straw for Evan and he had to get out while he still had his pride intact. I do wish him well in his future penis-related endeavors.

Reborn in Defiance comes out in January 2012 on Nuclear Blast Records and a North American label yet to be announced.