Scott Ian sums up parenthood with Nike slogan

Scott Ian, of Anthrax fame, is a father now. Although many believed he had adopted a pet raccoon and stuck it to his chin, that was just a rumor I made up. But he really did give Meat Loaf a grandson, so check out how he describes ‘fatherhood’:

“You just do it!“

Read full interview here.

Wow, Scott, that’s some insightful shit right there. Are you trying to strike a deal with Nike, or what? Here’s my advice, if you want their attention, go for the ‘Big Four‘ pitch instead. Once they hear Metallica is involved, they’d be all “$core!!!” about it.

Seriously though, his answer is much more detailed than that, but you know me.

Congrats one more time on the mini-metalhead, Scott.

Metallica could hit this

That tight little package above is named Paula Fernandes, and she covered Metallica‘s ‘Nothing Else Matters.’ Needless to say, she’s a big Metallica fan, and she’s really looking forward to their gig in Rio. You know what that means, right?

“I am a big fan,” she said. “I hope to enjoy the show here in Brazil. It would be magic!”

Read full article here.

Magic, eh? I know a couple of magic wand innuendos that will blow your mind, baby. Except Kirk, everyone else in the band should consider this.

Paula, if you’re reading this… I’ve written everything in Metallica, including NEM. I am their ghost writer and I am awesome. Skype me!

My money is on Rob, by the way. Check out her cover of ‘Tallica‘s classic song below:

Kerry King fingers his guitar

Kerry King sure loves his guitar, because as you can see in the clip above, he gives it the index finger lovin’ technique we all used on our girls, right? Well, I did, anyway… Okay, so it wasn’t a real girl, just a blowup doll, but it still counts.

The audio is kinda bad and the video quality reminds me of the early 90s, so I can’t really say I’m happy with this video, but if you like Slayer (and you should), you’ll definitely check it out.

Another clip of him playing and an interview, after the jump. The article we stole got these clips from is here.

Soulfly drummer likes his own record

Soulfly drummer David Kinkade (not pictured above, can’t be bothered to look for a photo of him, so one of Max will have to do for now, bitch) likes his new record, and according to him it’s sick and ‘thrashy as fuck.’

We’ll have to take his word for it, cause it’s not like he’s being subjective or anything…

“The record is sounding fucking SICK. Thrashy as fuck… totally Arise on crack and speed.“

Read full article here.

Wow, so it’s Sepultura meets Charlie Sheen, is that what he’s trying to say? Good God, sounds lovely. How do you translate ‘#winning’ in Portuguese?

Zakk Wylde has a stalker

When you think ‘celebrity stalkers,’ you usually think it’s for Megan Fox, Brad Pitt, Alex from Dose of Metal, you know — real celebrities.

Turns out even quasi-celebrities from the Z-list get stalkers, which brings me to Zakk Wylde and his lovable fan.

“Zakk Wylde claims he’s ‘terrified’ of an obsessed fan who recently left a ‘sacrifice’ at his home, filed a request for a restraining order against his 20-year-old neighbor … claiming the guy has been stalking and harassing him a while.

According to the docs, Wylde recently called police to respond to an incident at his home involving the neighbor — which resulted in cops placing the neighbor in a 72 hour hold for mental evaluation.

Wylde claims the neighbor was ‘deemed mentally ill’ — and diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder.“

Read full article here.

Mentally ill? I’ll say… Who the hell stalks Zakk Wylde? Who the hell needs to stalk Zakk Wylde? I’m sure leaving a trail of Johnnie Walker Black Label drops à la ‘Hansel and Gretel’ will get him to follow you… Why risk jail time?

Oh well, I guess we’re glad Zakk is okay and the psycho is in custody. Read the full article on TMZ to see what the sacrifice was (spoiler: a guitar).