Interview: Toke Eld (The Cleansing)

Last month, I reviewed The Cleansing’s new album Feeding The Inevitable. I have given the album a 5-skull rating. That’s reason enough for me to interview Toke Eld, vocalist of The Cleansing.

For those of you who haven’t read the review yet and don’t know anything about this band, shame on you. The Cleansing are a Death Metal act from Copenhagen, Denmark. The band formed in 2007, released their debut album, Poisened Legacy, in 2009 and their second album, Feeding The Inevitable, is out now.

Want to know more about the band? Make the jump for my interview with Toke Eld.

Tesseract Shmesseract

Holy shit you guys, Tesseract (or TesseracT, if you wanna be a bitch about it) changed their frontman! It took only two days for the world to notice, because Got Djent first reported it this Saturday and it’s only now making the headlines of basement metal bloggers from around the world.

Apparently, the band had a show, and surprisingly in place of their regular speak and scream machine vocalist Dan Tompkins, the band performed that night with Elliot Coleman. No one is quite sure what the reason was, and I suspect even less people care. Still, you can check out a shitty video of the performance above.

SpongeBob CoreyPants

Hipster Corey let us in on one of his next amazing and totally metal career moves — making a children’s music album, which he demonstrated by performing the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants at a recent show. Rad. The album will also be known as Stone Sour‘s Number Four, though rumors are circulating that he might claim the Slipknot name as well, and that the children in the video are the new line-up.

Kidding aside, he performed it during a benefit show for Aaron Lewis’ “It Takes A Comunity” charity, plus if you’ve ever been forced to sit through a day with a small kid watching cartoons, you’ll know SpongeBob is pretty awesome, so it’s all cool. Except for the hat and glasses combo, and the awkward feeling of realizing this guy used to scream how he wants to slit someone’s throat and fuck the wound, and now looks like he’s one candy away from looking like a pedophile victim.

More videos, including Corey and Aaron performing Queen classic We Will Rock You, can be found here.

Metallica + Lou Reed = Lulu

Blabbermouth has more info on the Lou Reed/Metallica collaborations, and if you thought the project seemed pointless until now, wait till you hear this.

Apparently it’s called Lulu, which is inspired by some plays from a German expressionist writer. I’ll be honest, I didn’t read the whole thing because my interest in this is zero. But they have 10 songs together and as we told you earlier, it will be released on October 31 everywhere and a day later in the U.S.

I’m not gonna lie, I will check it out and probably review it, but Metallica and German plays seem like an odd couple. It’s probably more of a LOLLOL than a Lulu, am I right? High five! But yeah, I guess we’ll see soon enough.

In the meantime, I got my HD porn here to keep me busy, so wish me luck.

[ photo credit: Metallica.com ]

Weak Recap: We be winning, playa

It’s no secret that we’re amazing, and we’re pretty modest about it, too. I mean, the rest of the guys who write for this site aren’t really that awesome, but compared to your boring ass, they’re Gods. I, on the other hand, am absolutely sublime. I truly believe a few decades from now people will be quoting my posts and giving them as examples of literary genius.

So why would I, of all people, interview the other writers for this site? Isn’t it a bit like Mozart interviewing Linkin Park? Yes it is, but unlike Mozart, I am pretty humble. And good looking.

Anyway, make the jump and read my interview with some of metal’s worst writers… Ever.