Eating bats is bad for your teeth

I’m here sitting in my hotel, having breakfast and checking the metal news, because a metalhead’s work is never done, not even when he’s away from home.

This is how you know you’re a loser, when even in a restaurant, you’re on your laptop, ‘blogging.’ But personal shortcomings aside, I ran across this piece of news about Ozzy which is pretty funny. Well, anything about Ozzy is pretty funny, including Ozzy himself (most of the time unintentionally).

So, two of Ozzy‘s front teeth fell out. I know, I know, I’ve only Photoshopped one, but it sucks making images on a dumb laptop, so you’ll have to bear with me.

Why did they fall out though? Bad hygiene? Too many bats? Sharon punched him? All of the above? I don’t know, and I don’t care, but every time I find a reason to Photoshop an Ozzy photo and make some bat puns, I do it. Even when I’m away.

So Ozzy, next time you try to bite the head off a flying mouse, at least chew some gum afterwards or something.

Weekly Dose of Metal: Obituary

This week’s dose of Metal is Obituary, for no particular reason other than they kind of kick a lot of ass. Well more ass than I kick. Have you seen me? I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag.

Obituary are a North American Death Metal band, and as a reader of Dose of Metal, you should know that. You should also know that the band formed in the mid 80’s and are a fundamental act in the development of Death Metal music. A bit like I’m a fundamental  person in the development of awesomeness.

The song ‘Don’t Care’ can be heard below and is taken from 1994’s World Demise. The song has been considered by many as a protest song against Man-made pollution. That’s not a very ‘Death Metal-y’ topic, but the song will desecrate your ears regardless.

Happy Dream Theater drummer is happy

Dream Theater’s Mike Mangini (not to be confused with Mike Mangina, which is my porn name) is very happy to be in Dream Theater. I don’t blame him, I hadn’t heard of him before he joined this band.

“I’m stunned at the crowds on this tour. I really am having so much fun that I can’t wait to get back on stage. One more show: Budapest. As the rest of shows were, too, the Athens crowd just rocked the Earth all the way to Africa tonight. EVERY crowd has simply gotten the band’s message loud and clear and I’m so happy to be a part of all this joy.“

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Five Finger Death Punch are not ashamed

But they should be. Mainly of their music, but also of their name.

The new Five Finger Death Punch album, American Capitalist, apparently has a controversial title. I don’t think it is, do you? Maybe ‘American Communist’ or ‘American Nazi’ would be controversial, but what’s wrong with that one? Just because the U.S. is in debt? Please…

So Jason Hook — the guitarist, in case, like me, you don’t know who the fuck he is — had this to say in an interview:

“You know, it’s kind of like dog eat dog, it’s the survival of the fittest, and we’re sort of putting it out there as a positive thing. It’s like, we are American capitalists, we will divide and conquer, we will — we’re going for the throat and we’re not ashamed to say that.“

LOLWUT?

I’d be more ashamed of that quote right there than of any album title.

[Source: The Pulse Of Radio/Blabbermouth]

Evanescence will let you watch them

Are you 18 or over, live in Nashville and like Evanescence? Well, first of all, haha, your taste in music sucks! Secondly, you can win a chance to see them perform their new single for the first time. Amazing, right?

All you have to do is send an email here with your full name, age, address, email and phone number. Make sure you CC me so I can send a few used condoms your way, too.

If you’re wondering why I’m writing about this, well, I have no idea, just saw it as a good opportunity to laugh at this band again.

[ Source: Blabbermouth ]