Today’s Dose of Metal: Jaymz birthday edition

James Hetfield just turned 48, so I thought it’d be fitting to use this live clip of ‘Nothing Else Matters’ as today’s dose of metal.

This is actually a great performance of the song, from Big Day Out 2004. I wish they still sounded like that, I mean I get they won’t sound like in the 80s and early 90s, but at least early 2000s.

Then again, back then they used to perform ‘Frantic’ live, so maybe it’s better this way.

So enjoy this classic Metallica ballad, the one Metallica song every chick knows. I recommend learning it on guitar, too. It will get you laid. You’ll be fucking fat chicks in no time.

The end for IWRESTLEDABEARONCE

Bro-metal dudes IWRESTLEDABEARONCE might as well start drawing sad mustaches on their faces, because the end for them is near: Their latest “ironical” album Ruining it for Everybody cracked the US Top 100.

In hipsterverse, this means they just crossed the border to mainstream, therefore they lost the only idiot audience they’ve ever had. RIP and good riddance.

Fear Factory working on new album

Fear Factory is one of those bands whose music is as heavy as its members. Which means really, really heavy. And we at Dose of Metal liked Mechanize as much as Dino likes to eat. Which means really, really much. That’s why we’re excited as fuck about Dino’s latest tweet:

“Working/Demoing new Fear Factory today”

which he posted a few minutes ago. I’ll speak for myself when I say this album gave me more orgasms than my blow up doll, so naturally, I can’t wait. How ’bout you?

Evile are going on tour (only where it rains)

Are you a bit weird looking, have oral hygiene problems, have bad weather and use the word ‘mate’ a lot? Then you’re probably living in the UK, so this news is for you.

Evile will tour the shit out of the UK, starting in late September all the way to late October. They’ll also play two album release shows in London and Birmingham.

They’re doing all of this to promote their new album, Five Serpent’s Teeth, an album reviewed by our own Guido Metalhead666 (that’s actually his surname, he’s THAT metal!).

All the tour dates are after the jump. Oh, and if you got offended at that joke towards Brits, don’t worry, our own Mark is a Brit.  I actually called him up and asked if I can do the joke. He didn’t pick up the phone, so I’m pretty sure that means he gave me his blessing. I don’t really care what he thinks, anyway.

Go shorty, is yo’ birthday

James is old enough to be my dad. Literally. He’s just a few years younger than my dad. I don’t know if that means he’s way too old, or that I’m way too young. All I know is, how the fuck does one jerk off in his youth without the interwebz? That must have sucked for him. Probably why most of Metallica‘s riffs are down-picked.

Anyway, it’s his birthday today, and if you’re wondering how I know this, it’s because my Facebook feed was filled with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES HETFIELD” posts. Yeah, I’ve friended a lot of Metallica fans on Facebook.

So Jaymz just turned 48, two more years and he’ll be half a century old. On behalf of everyone at Dose of Metal, I want to wish this old bastard guy a happy birthday.

Incidentally, Metallica also has a big birthday coming up — their 30th. Stay tuned on Dose of Metal, where we’ll be celebrating 30 years of Metallica by doing nothing at all, really, because why would we?

Have a good one, Jaymz.