Dream Theater drummer wanted to meet Jesus

After yesterday’s hilarious interview with Dave Mustaine, today I got to read another funny interview. This time with Dream Theater.

Check this out…

“Interviewer: Noting your current album is called A Dramatic Turn Of Events, what dramatic historical event would you like to have witnessed?
Mike Mangini: One dramatic historical event that I would have liked to witness was Jesus walking on water to the boat full of apostles. That ranks high on my list of “jaw-dropping” events.“

Read full article here.

Haha, really? Well if we’re talking fiction here, why not witness the chase from Terminator 2? Or how about when Neo was woken up from the matrix in the first movie? Or how about being in the room when Joker was interrogated by Batman in TDK? Surely those are all awesome moments, far more impressive than when some dude walked on water.

I hope Mike was just trolling.

30 minutes of Metallica’s 30th anniversary shows

So what exactly happened on those four nights? We’ll never know, I guess.

Oh wait, yes we will, because the guys have posted a 27 minute long (yes, kinda lied in the title, sue me!) video that recaps the four evenings. I think it was pretty cool, would have loved to be there but I was busy refreshing 9gag.com and pornhub.com all day.

Enjoy the vid and happy birthday once again, Metallica. 10 years of greatness and 20 years of trying to be something you’re not. Let’s hope you find yourselves within the next few decades.

MTV interviewer makes fun of Dave Mustaine

Rhythm guitar. Vocals. Lead guitar. Politics. Is there anything Dave can’t do?

Apparently our man Dave has advice for the next president, and whoever that is, he’d better listen up. Cause this is a guy who founded two of the best metal bands of all time, so he knows his shit when it comes to metal. And we all know metal rules so ipso facto Dave can rule the world.

So here’s some of the things Dave said. I must warn you, the interview is unintentionally hilarious and a very good read.

If you’re a Dave fan, skip this article, because the interviewer is being sarcastic all the time and Dave doesn’t seem to realize it.

 “Dave: All I know is, if my wife walked in there and some transgender dude in a dress walked out, I would beat his ass.
Interviewer: Her ass.
Dave: What?
Interviewer: You mean her ass.
Dave: The dude in the dress?“

Haha, wow… Probably the best Dave interview in a while. It gets better, Dave mentions his hexes again.

“They did [work]. And that’s why I don’t do hexes anymore. And it’s why I don’t do Megadeth songs like “The Conjuring” anymore. The lyrics are basically just a list of instructions from some of the hexes I’ve done.”

The interviewer is obviously pulling his leg at this point, but Dave is none the wiser…

“Interviewer: I just Googled the lyrics to “The Conjuring,” and I guess you’re right, it is like a recipe for a hex. I apparently need a candle and a piece of parchment and an eyelash from a black cat and the straw of a broom. This is all accurate?
Dave: It is, yeah.
Interviewer: Where do you even go to find the eyelash from a black cat? Amazon, maybe?
Dave: I have no clue. I’m not saying everybody would listen to that song and decide to try doing a hex. Maybe out of 100 people, 99 will think it’s stupid, or 99 will think it’s cool but would never do it. But there’s always that one. You know what I mean? I don’t want to be responsible for misleading anyone. It’s hard enough to survive in this world without getting bad ideas from a metal song.”

Read full article here.

BEST. INTERVIEW. EVER.

Dave, seriously. This guy was jabbing you subliminally and all you did was fall right into his trap. I can’t blame anyone for his own beliefs, it’s your right to believe in God/Santa/hexes, but keep some of that stuff to yourself, man. Otherwise people will just make fun of you.

Axl loves his fans

Axl Rose sure loves his fans. He loves them so much, he points at them and has security kick them out.

I have no idea what that guy did, but I’m gonna take a wild guess: He had a banner saying ‘Ginger have no souls and show up late!’.

Again, just a guess.

Epic beard, courtesy of Bumblefoot.

Anthrax and Machine Head shat brix

I know, the headline is awful, but so is my sense of humor, so you get the idea.

Apparently Scott Ian and Phil Demmel were in ‘awe’ of Metallica’s 30th celebration shows. Phil even called them the ‘most amazing band ever!!!11’ or something.

I don’t want to be rude towards Phil, but that title is obviously reserved for Linkin Park, the only band able to put rock, rap, dubstep/electronic shit in a blender, make a shit-cocktail, eat it up, digest it and then shit it out and sell it.

Anyway, yeah… Watch the video above.