Sharpie pen: Yngwie Malmsteen signature series

Yngwie Malmsteen has his own line of Sharpie! pens… Because when you see a lean, small pen, you’re thinking Yngwie Malmsteen, right? I would understand a double cheeseburger being named after him, or a beach ball. But a pen? Pretty weird choice.

Here’s what some guy who works for Sharpie said:

“It was fantastic to meet one of the greatest guitar players of all time and talk about music and several of our common interests. It was also an honor to present Yngwie with his own personalized Sharpies. It means a lot that he chooses our markers to sign autographs. He’s definitely made an indelible mark on music, and in some small way, we hope Sharpie has helped him make a lasting impressions with his fans.”

Read full article here.

A photo of the pen after the jump. Hell, I’d buy one, for all the shit I talk about signature series, I sure buy a lot of them. [/hypocrite]

Korn probably sold enough records to make another shitstep album

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really like Korn, and that’s putting it nicely. Thing is, when they decided to add dubstep to their sound, I realized I hate them almost as much as I hate Linkin Park or Nine Inch Nails.

The problem with tier dubstep album is that it sold enough records to warrant another ‘effort’ from them where the only instrument used is a Macbook Pro. I wish it would have pulled a Lulu and just failed, just to teach them a lesson. Instead, it probably sent a message: “Make your shitty music even shittier by adding random computer-generated beats to it — it will sell even in this shitty economy.”

“Korn‘s 10th studio album, The Path Of Totality, sold 55,000 copies in the United States in its first week of release to land at position No. 10 on The Billboard 200 chart.”

Read full article here.

Congratulations people, way to ruin an already ruined music scene.

After the jump I will treat you to a listenable song from this band, with one of my favorite music videos of all time.

Anselmo is unintelligible in Brazil

What the fuck happened to one of my metal idols? He used to be witty and funny in the early 90s, now he sounds like a damaged cellphone with bad signal.

Sorry Phil, love your work, but what the hell have you done to yourself? I can barely get through that interview, it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve squirmed less when I’ve seen ‘1 guy 1 jar.’

Part two of the interview after the jump. Also after the jump, the Phil Anselmo I want to remember.

iMustaine: Learn to play guitar on your iPhone

Ever wanted to play guitar like Dave Mustaine? Forget what you think you know about learning this instrument. Actually buying a guitar, spending countless hours daily practicing it? That’s for suckaz, yo. A real man just buys Dave’s new app.

“Want to shred like Megadeth? Never thought you could? Guess again. This is the app for that. The Dave Mustaine: Guitar Prodigy interactive App gets you — whether beginner or expert — playing the right notes at the right times within minutes — on your guitar.“

That sounds awesome. Let’s see what Dave has to say about the app. Lemme guess, he thinks it’s better than guitar lessons…

“Better than a private lesson, and more fun than any guitar game, my app, ‘Dave Mustaine: Guitar Prodigy,’ actually teaches you how to play guitar, and with the leader boards you shred while you kick your friends *sses!“

Get the app here.

Told ya. What can I say, if you’re a fan, you will most likely buy it. It’s $9.99 so it’s not the cheapest app out there, but it’s not like 10 bucks is that much for an iPrivate Lesson from Dave Mustaine himself.

Revolver has a cover full of rock legends — and Jonathan Davis

Hey, nice picture, right? Bet you never expected such a tall fucking photo on a post here, did you?

Anyway, Revolver decided to draw a lot of important metal legends on their new cover — then decided ‘fuck it, let’s also thrown in someone who is nu-metal for the lulz.’

Seriously, what is Jonathan Davis doing in front of Ozzy and Hetfield? That’s like Time magazine doing a ‘People of the year’ cover with Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and The Situation.

Also, how come some of them are perfectly drawn, but others look nothing like whoever they’re supposed to be? Check out Anselmo (left, right behind Ozzy). The fuck?

This issue of Revolver is out now, and it has the ‘100 Greatest Living Rockstars’ list which will probably disappoint all of us. And if it says ‘living,’ why the fuck is Ozzy on it?

Life is full of mysteries.