Back in Blog

Back in Blog? Back in Blood? Blog in Blog? What the hell am I on about? Well, I am back on the Dose of Metal team.

If you hadn’t noticed, after publishing my interview with Jed Simon back in March, I had quietly left Dose of Metal. Not a bad last article, in my opinion. But now I am back. And what’s the picture of the keyboard all about? I’ll let you figure that out yourself (hint: return).

It looks like I haven’t missed much since March, but someone has decided to redecorate this place. It looks nice. It looks more positive. No skeletons putting bullets to their skulls anymore. Now that Bob has left us (for your info, we’ve named our former suicidal skeleton Bob), it looks like he has left us with triplets. Or tripheads.

Yes, you are seeing right. With me returning, jokes that simply don’t work at all make a return aswell. I do have a test audience whom I tell my jokes to before posting them, and they’ve approved of all of this bullshit. Yes, the test audience consists of me. Sometimes also my mom.

So that’s about it. I’m back and I’m looking forward to writing for this blog again. It has taken me long enough, hasn’t it?

And now celebration after the jump!

Review: Shining lingerie

Shining, Shining, Shining is there anything the black metal masterminds don’t do? When I saw the band had released their own brand of lingerie a few weeks back I just had to get a pair for my girlfriend. After all, there’s nothing hotter than seeing a moist vagina clad in the undergarments branded by a band as sexy as Shining. Metal and sex go hand in hand after all, quite literally (err….).

You can catch my quite brilliant review of the pink g-string (also available in black, purple and red) after the jump.

Happy Birthday to DoM!

Happy fucking birthday to us! We’re turning 2 today, and even though we haven’t written too much in the last couple of months, we’re still proud of this site and we’ll still get wasted on its birthday — even though we’d use any excuse to drink.

We’re glad we have a new layout to go with our celebration and we hope to get back to writing daily like we used to do back in the day.

Either way, thanks to all the people who kept visiting daily even though the updates were scarce, thanks to everyone who’s been sending us emails asking not to close the site, and also thanks to all the people who volunteered to write for us — and our apologies for not getting back to you.

We’ve been busy, but we haven’t forgotten about the site, so keep watching this space as we will be getting our shit together at some point. Maybe

Everyone posts trailers nowadays

Fear Factory just released the trailer for their upcoming music video for “The Industrialist.” They even went through the trouble of recreating that green MPAA rating thing at the beginning. Why are people releasing trailers for music videos? I just don’t get it.

Anyway, the video seams to be the typical, run-of-the-mill low budget lyrics internet video. Edited with stock After Effects elements and shot on a Canon dSLR. I think it’s great that technology has advanced so much that you can give a professional music video from MTV a run for its money with a $1000 camera and your own personal computer, but it’s also created this trend of cliche videos which look and sound the same because everyone is using the same Video Copilot products.

But yeah, this is a metal site, not a video editing site, so just enjoy the video and don’t mind me…

Du Suck So Much

Okay, so I’m not a parent. But I’m pretty sure that if I were, I would not upload videos of them covering songs until they got good enough.

Case in point: The mistake above. Not only do those kids suck, but they seem to not have much in common with playing an instrument. Lemme break it down for you:

The vocals: Horrible.
The guitar: Horrible.
The keys: Horrible.
The drums: What drums?

Seriously, parents, get a fucking clue. Encourage your kids to play instruments but do not embarrass them online until they can play like this cute little kid.