Tag Archives: Gene Simmons

Kiss won’t kiss MJ goodbye

It was reported that Kiss would be part of a Michael Jackson tribute concert, but we didn’t post about it because we had better stuff to do…

But now it’s being reported that Kiss got kicked out of the gig, and we’re writing about it because, well, we’re lame and hypocritical. Apparently fans ratted Gene out:

“We have listened to Michael’s fans and are grateful to have been alerted to these unfortunate statements by Gene Simmons.  Under the circumstances we fully agree that even though Kiss is a band Michael admired we have no choice but to rescind our invitation to them to appear in our tribute concert.“

Read full article here.

So a couple of MJ fanboy snitched to the promoters that Gene actually called Michael a pedophile, so they gave him the boot. That’s pretty awesome… To be fair, I really don’t care about this story at all, so I have nothing else to add.

There are a few child puns I could try but let’s not get carried away here.

Gene Simmons vs. Anonymous

What’s funnier than a bitter 61-year old arguing with a bunch of teen “hackers” with too much free time on their hands? Especially when that old guy is Gene Simmons, and when the kids are Anonymous… Probably a lot of things, but you make your choice of the humor sites you visit…

Anyway, do you remember how about a week ago I wrote about how Gene Simmons is threatening to sue everyone who downloads music (that’s pretty much half the planet). The exact words being “Be litigious. Sue everybody. Take their homes, their cars.”. It rubbed someone the wrong way, so Anonymous launched a DDoS attack and screwed up his website. The old guy got angry, the kids did it again. His rant after the first attack is pretty funny (by my low standards), so read it after the jump.

Gene Simmons is after your ass

Heads up: if you’re reading this, and next to the browser you have a bit-torrent app open, close it. Delete the files. Format the hard drive. Because you know what? Gene Simmons is after your pirate ass.

Here’s what the guy with the big mouth and long tongue has to say about file sharing:

“Make sure your brand is protected. Make sure there are no incursions. Be litigious. Sue everybody. Take their homes, their cars. Don’t let anybody cross that line. The music industry was asleep at the wheel and didn’t have the balls to sue every fresh-faced, freckle-faced college kid who downloaded material. And so now we’re left with hundreds of thousands of people without jobs. There’s no industry.”

Are we going to discuss this? No, it’s been discussed to death, and unlike Kiss who won’t call it quits, we don’t feel like beating a dead horse. Are we going to crack jokes about how anything Kiss has released in the past three decades is barely worth $15, let alone someone’s home? We could… Are we going to point out that it’s hypocritical from a guy whose band makes half a million dollars per show to act like he’s one of the struggling artists? Yes, we are. Gene, your prime has passed decades ago, and you are still fortunate enough to make money, so please, leave the bitching to those freckle-faced college kids who play in bands and dream of being rockstars.

He also tried to come up with some analogy on file sharing and farmers. Read it after the jump, it’s quite up there with Aesop’s fables.

Fact of the Day

Many rockstars and musicians suffer with drug addiction and alcoholism during their careers.  However, not Gene Simmons of Kiss.  Instead, Gene Simmons is apparently addicted to sex, and claims he has slept with more than 5000 women in his lifetime.

Us clever-clogs at Dose of Metal, after much calculation, worked out that this works out at around 5000 minutes Gene could have spent thinking up new ways to sell out write music.

I wonder if he uses those “Kiss Kondoms”… *shudder*

Picture after the jump.