Tag Archives: Gwar

Metalheadlines: Kill me now edition

That photo above will give me nightmares for the following weeks. Boner killer.

Lady Gaga (pictured above) keeps trying to fool us into thinking she likes metal. She keeps using Iron Maiden‘s name, too, which is total blasphemy. We’ve heard your songs, bitch, the only thing metal about you is the cage I’d put you in, given the chance.

Devildriver‘s bassist, Aaron “Bubble” Patrick, was injured. I’m sorry to hear that, and I wish him a speedy recovery. But being the glass-half-full guy that I am,  I’m looking on the bright side: Their tour is on hold.

Gwar lead singer (and I use the term singer very, very loosely) got canned from Fox News because he pulled a stunt where he decapitated Sarah Palin, or something. Getting fired from that channel is a bit like getting fired as a janitor. If you’re not even good at the worst job in the world, what on Earth are you good at? I didn’t even know you had a job there, but I laugh at you, Oderus Urungus!

Chickenfoot bassist says new Chickenfoot album has ‘more meat.’ PETA are gonna have a blast with this band.

Alice In Chains are working on new music. That’s not the only bad news, they also use Heart‘s Ann Wilson as their PR agent. Ann called their new music ‘amazing,’ so that should give you a hint about her taste in music.

Sepultura‘s new album, Kairos, sold 2,500 copies in the U.S. in its first week of release. That’s 700 copies more than Megadeth‘s Peace Sells reissue. MAJORLOLZ.

And finally, Anthrax‘s upcoming studio effort, Worship Music, has a pre-order bundle ready. You know what that means? It means that if you pre-order it, you get a bundle of joy in your life. I’m as funny as Lady Gaga‘s small penis.

Gwar frontmonster got interviewed

Gwar look like they just jumped out of a 90s FPS game. If you don’t know what that means, congratulations, it probably means you’re not a virgin.

Anyway, Gwar‘s frontman/monster/whatever-that-is got interviewed and you can watch it above.

What are they talking about? You tell me, I haven’t watched it, I’m very impressionable still.

Lordi reveal Gwar’s secret…

Lordi, Gwar, what’s the difference? Fuck knows. More to the point, who cares? Both suck, right?

Regardless, in a recent interview, the Lordi frontman, whoever or whatever that is, discussed the differences between the two bands. The man in a costume went on to say that both are rock bands dressed up as monsters, but that Gwar aren’t quite so serious.

Mr Lordi then finished by revealing Gwar‘s dark secret… That actually, despite claiming they’re aliens, they too are just humans in costumes. Wow, well thankyou for pointing out the obvious.

In other news, the Gwar frontman recently stated that Michael Jackson was an alien. Well thank you too for pointing out the obvious.

Tuesday Trivia: The one where we couldn’t avoid Christmas

…and decided that if we can’t beat them, we should join them. Christmas can be metal. Make the jump and find out why.

What happens if you’re naughty at Christmas?

If you’re naughty at Christmas, then Santa normally brings you a sack of coal (or at least, he does for me), but things are a little different this year, as Santa will be bringing you GWAR instead.

I know, harsh right? That’s even worse than a sack of Coal. Hell, that’s even worse than the Take That cd your naive Grandmother will inevitably buy for you this Christmas. Break.com has posted an exclusive holiday-themed clip starring intergalactic metal band GWAR. The footage, which is “filled with chaos, violence and bloody grandmothers,” (at least according to Blabbermouth. You don’t think I actually watched it myself do you?) can be seen after the jump.