Tag Archives: IWRESTLEDABEARONCE

iwrestledabearonce want to start burning churches

TheworstbandIhaveheardinthelastfiveyears iwrestledabearonce are trying to convince their fans that they’re tired of being considered a “scene” band and recently finished their second album, which is supposed to be straight-up Black Metal.

We were sick of getting lumped in with ‘scene’ and ‘whatever-core’ bands, so we decided to embrace our roots and just go straight black metal on the new album. I’d say 90% of the new record is straight-up black metal, so we had to change our image to match…Because of course that’s just as important, if not more so, than the music

I’ve been entertained reading black metal fans pissed off about the news and iwrestledabearonce fans getting offended by the”new direction”.  Anyone who thinks they’re changing to Black Metal needs to get a sense of humor asap!  This isn’t happening.  It’s clearly a publicity stunt.  I have been wrong once in my life (March 7th, 1992, to be exact).  However,  I’m confident that was the last time I will ever be wrong about something.

Anyway, click here to see more of the brutal trve kvlt black metal pictures.

IWRITEANEWALBUM

Yes, we’ve used this joke before (the title), but in the same way Iwrestledabearonce insist on remixing the same Super Mario theme over and over again and calling it new music, I’m going to keep writing the same Iwrestledabearonce jokes over and over again.

According to Blabbermouth, the band have begun work on their new album. One to avoid unless you’re a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog on acid, of course.

Ireleasedsomefreeshit

Okay, I know, nospace jokes and Iwrestledabearonce come hand in hand, and neither are good, so we promise that the next time we’ll think of somethingelse to write about.

Anyway, it’s Friday night, and instead of being out, drinking and listening to metal, I’m home writing this (and you’re home reading this). And in case you’re listening to metal, make your night completely lame and download Iwrestledabearonce dubstep EP that’s been posted on their Facebook page. Click here. Pro tip: You don’t have to do all those things they ask of you (like their page, share etc), just click on the image that tells you to do that and you get the link. Though, if you’re downloading this, you’re probably already in their fan list. Yes, someone lamer than me! Thank you Jesus.

IWROTENEWSONCE

IWRESTLEDABEARONCE HAVEADUMBFUCKINGNAME. They are also GOINGONTOURINJAPAN.

“Words cannot begin to describe our excitement for this tour,“ says  guitarist Steven Bradley while watching anime. “Not only do we get to experience amazing Japanese culture and meet awesome Japanese people, but we get to do it with our Japanese brothers Fact and our Australian buds Closure in Moscow! Sake and sushi time bitches! Stoked!”

DATESAFTERTHEJUMP, bitches! Not stoked!