Tag Archives: Kiss
Kiss garden gnomes. For real.
We’ve had boots, guitars, condoms and coffins. Is there anything really left for Kiss to exploit brand and sell? Of course there is. Garden gnomes.
You’ve heard it right, garden gnomes. So if you want to scare off people coming to your frontyard, be careful and keep your eye on kissonline.com. Now excuse me, I’m too busy ordering my Kiss toilet paper to wipe my ass off with, feel free to make the jump and see a bigger image of the aforementioned gnomes.
Guitar Hero wimpy warriors
Just in time for Christmas, Activision Publishing Inc have announced that new tracks from both Linkin Park and Kiss have been added to the Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock game.
I presumed this may be a mistake since the game isn’t called mediocres of pop, but sadly I was wrong. The new Linkin Park tracks will of course be a welcome addition to noobs of the game though, as most will only require the player to press one button through the tracks at a steady 100 bpm.
If mediocre pop bands are your thing though, get your info fix here.
Ki$$ star in Family Guy
Believe it or not, Kiss and Family Guy both have a lot in common. Neither have been any good for about a million years, and hence why they’ve probably teamed up for a Christmas special.
Despite being posted on Blabbermouth, this isn’t actually news. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas actually first aired in 2001 in Season 3 (back when Family Guy didn’t suck so much – but unfortunately Kiss still did). If you never saw the episode though, or fancy watching it again , check it out on Cartoon Network tonight at 11:00 p.m. EST.
Gene Simmons vs. Anonymous
What’s funnier than a bitter 61-year old arguing with a bunch of teen “hackers” with too much free time on their hands? Especially when that old guy is Gene Simmons, and when the kids are Anonymous… Probably a lot of things, but you make your choice of the humor sites you visit…
Anyway, do you remember how about a week ago I wrote about how Gene Simmons is threatening to sue everyone who downloads music (that’s pretty much half the planet). The exact words being “Be litigious. Sue everybody. Take their homes, their cars.”. It rubbed someone the wrong way, so Anonymous launched a DDoS attack and screwed up his website. The old guy got angry, the kids did it again. His rant after the first attack is pretty funny (by my low standards), so read it after the jump.
Gene Simmons is after your ass
Heads up: if you’re reading this, and next to the browser you have a bit-torrent app open, close it. Delete the files. Format the hard drive. Because you know what? Gene Simmons is after your pirate ass.
Here’s what the guy with the big mouth and long tongue has to say about file sharing:
“Make sure your brand is protected. Make sure there are no incursions. Be litigious. Sue everybody. Take their homes, their cars. Don’t let anybody cross that line. The music industry was asleep at the wheel and didn’t have the balls to sue every fresh-faced, freckle-faced college kid who downloaded material. And so now we’re left with hundreds of thousands of people without jobs. There’s no industry.”
Are we going to discuss this? No, it’s been discussed to death, and unlike Kiss who won’t call it quits, we don’t feel like beating a dead horse. Are we going to crack jokes about how anything Kiss has released in the past three decades is barely worth $15, let alone someone’s home? We could… Are we going to point out that it’s hypocritical from a guy whose band makes half a million dollars per show to act like he’s one of the struggling artists? Yes, we are. Gene, your prime has passed decades ago, and you are still fortunate enough to make money, so please, leave the bitching to those freckle-faced college kids who play in bands and dream of being rockstars.
He also tried to come up with some analogy on file sharing and farmers. Read it after the jump, it’s quite up there with Aesop’s fables.
