Tag Archives: Korn

Weak Recap: Third time’s a charm

Another week in Metal has gone by, and your favorite Metal site, Dose of Metal, is back to give you an awesome recap of the week. Maybe you missed something, maybe you were too busy having a life and spending time with a real girlfriend to keep up to date. Luckily for you though, there are virgins like myself, that have nothing better to do than spend every waking moment of my life on this site.

So this week, I shall be interviewing Simo. He’s awesome, he’s a place in Finland (According to Wikipedia), and my interview with himself can be found after the jump.

Today’s Headlines

Today I feel like a tampon; I’m in a great place, but at a bad time. Why? Well, I’m in a great place because here I am writing for the best damn Metal site around, Dose of Metal. However, it’s a bad time for Metal news today, because there is fuck all going on. Fuck all good anyways.

First off, the chick from Within Temptation has apparently given birth. Why in God’s name would I care?I don’t, so moving on..

Second, Korn have gone Dubstep or something even lamer than they were previously. We’ve already reported on this, but I’m unoriginal like that.

Thirdly, Devildriver are awesome, so it is sad to hear that their bassist, Jonathan Miller, has left the band. His full statement can be read here.

Lastly, unfortunately Crowbar have had to pull out of Germany’s Summer Breeze festival, due to a death in the band’s closer circle which has forced them to change their plans for July and August. We wish the band the best of luck and our thoughts are with them.

Stay tuned to DoM to get all your Metal goodness. It’s like Porn, but with Metal, and without the crappy writing. Oh wait…

Korn releases a snippet

Korn released a new snippet online and it’s absolutely fantastic!! — is what I would say if I had any interest in this band, but I don’t.

So how is it? Well, I don’t know, but let me take a wild guess: not good.

Anyway, if you like this band 1) listen to the band below and 2) go kill yourself.

Warning: By clicking play on the player above you will confirm to the world that you like dick.

Metal jokes

No, this post isn’t about Korn (it could be, but they’re not Metal are they?), but about Metal inspired jokes. Everyone loves jokes right? Laughing is good, apart from when it’s about the size of my penis, so on with ’em.

If you have some jokes of your own, feel free to post them in the comments section. BTW, most of these jokes aren’t written by myself, because like Trivium, I can’t write my own material and just like to “borrow” other people’s shit. Anyways…

Why did Euronymous cross the road? He didn’t, Varg stabbed him in the head.

Funniest Metal joke? St Anger.

How do you know when its time to kick your drummer out? When he brings a song he wrote to practice.

How do you get a technical Death Metal player to slow down? Put sheet music in front of him.

Brad Delson (Linkin Park) and Brian Carroll had a guitar shredding show-off. The guy who lost would be punished by wearing a KFC bucket on his head for the rest of his life (Brad Delson facts)

Credit to some of these jokes go to the users over at the Ultimate Guitar forum. Now it’s time for you to share yours, so get to it.

Friday Top 10: Heavy metal soap operas, part 2

What, you thought last Friday’s Top 10 was the only one? Ha, you wish! Just like a proper soap, we’re popping out endless sequels. Well, maybe not endless, because I plan to wrap it up with this one, but who knows when this topic will come back from the dead.

Make the jump and read ten more never-ending and/or soapy and/or embarrassing stories from the world of metal.