Tag Archives: Steven Tyler

Steven Tyler denies having a large penis

Oh boy, here we go…

So, Steven Adler told a story about walking in on Steven Tyler screwing four women, and described his penis as being ‘the biggest in rock ‘n’ roll.’ In anyone’s book, that’s a huge compliment. Someone’s a witness to your incredible sexual feat AND is testifying about the size of your manhood. Where do I sign up for such press?

Don’t get me wrong, Tyler, but an eyewitness to your being heterosexual is something to cherish when you wear tight leather pants and makeup. I’m just saying.

So being the sexually secure guy that he is, Steven Tyler denied the claims. Yes, really.

“First of all, I’ve never been with a guy when I’ve been with three or four women. I just don’t swing that way; I’m sorry. Thank god I got sober. I might have wound up… Who knows?! I wasn’t that promiscuous, let’s just say. [Adler] was dreaming about my schlong.“

Read full article here.

I don’t know what’s sadder, Adler feeling the need to talk about Tyler’s ‘big penis,’ Tyler denying it, or me writing about it… Either way, there goes my credibility with the ladies. The fact that I’m ‘blogging’ wasn’t chasing chicks away fast enough, I had to write penis articles to make them run even faster.

🙁

Headlines for all the children

Steven Tyler (whose daughter is pictured above because his mouth alone slows our site down tremendously) is releasing his new single via Ryan Seacrest’s radio show. Seacrest and Tyler are, of course, both on American Idol. You can listen to the song here but here’s a real test: Do you know which season of American Idol is currently airing? If you do, congratulations, you like cock.

Sandra Schleret (who?) left Elis (who?). She claims her four year journey has been… Wait, why am I even bothering? She left, they’ll get a new singer so they can make new songs no one heard of. The end.

Vreid will hit the road in North America with Kampfar and Necronomicon. It starts August 25 in Toronto and ends God-knows-when cause I seriously lost interest but hey, look at those band names. They remind of that scrambled text meme: “aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae.”

Speaking of names I can’t pronounce, check out Enslaved‘s new EP here. It’s called Heimvegen (what?) and you can stream it following the link I just posted. Or you can just close this site and see what’s new on YouPorn. Your choice, really…

Drugs are good, mmkay?

Rock’s version of Paula Abdul, Steven Tyler, felt the need to share with the world that he did drugs with guitarist Joe Perry in 2008. Damn, Steven and his literally big mouth.

“In an interview with Rolling Stone, Tyler says he and Joe Perry did drugs together in 2008 after years of sobriety. Aerosmith had been working on a new album, which never developed. Tyler says Perry was so impaired by snorting prescription pills, he couldn’t even play his instrument. Tyler says he was no better — he couldn’t sing.“

Read full article here.

Hey, look at the positive. He can also blame his effeminate weird clothing on drugs. It’s like a ‘get away with anything’ card, this substance abuse thing.

Anyway, isn’t he a household name now from that one karaoke show he’s on? Why is he talking about drugs? What about all the kids looking up to him? Listen, I drink a lot of beer, but it’s not like I talk about alcohol abuse like it’s a good thing… Oh wait, yes I do.

Damn.

Steven Tyler said no to Led Zeppelin

And pigs flew out of his mouth today. According to Mr. Idol, he was offered a spot in the band after the full-time reunion of Led Zeppelin with Robert Plant didn’t work out in 2007:

“I looked Jimmy in the eyes and it came time for him to say, ‘You want to write a record with me?’” Tyler said. “I went, ‘No.’ I’m in Aerosmith. He’s in the biggest band in the world and I’m in a band like that. I have such an allegiance to my band and I love it so much.”

I’ve never bought an Aerosmith album, and I’m not buying this either. I mean, is there an easier way to hype up your new album and keep fans calm, than to say you’re so loyal to them, you actually refused to play in a good band?

By the way, his hype building abilities aren’t that great, because all the drama earlier didn’t really help American Idol, whose premiere took a dive. Guess America said no to him, because they’re loyal to their Brit.

Steven Tyler is a professional

Even though Steven Tyler ditched Aerosmith to judge a reality show, he’s now making it seem like he’s the one being ditched… Pretty clever, huh?

“I’m trying to rally the guys together. We’re having trouble getting Joe. I don’t know where he is, but just come down to L.A. at the end of January sometime. I’ve had enough downtime.“

Read full article here.

I think I know where Joe is. He’s whoring himself out on some TV show… Oh wait, no, that’s not him…